Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life by Tom Holmes

Author:Tom Holmes [Holmes, Tom]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Winged Heart Press
Published: 2011-08-30T23:00:00+00:00

People with strong protective parts armoring them usually have a wounded and vulnerable child inside.

Critics, Judges and Boss Parts

Critical or judging parts can become too strong in our systems because of childhood experiences in learning what we should and shouldn’t do. Taking in our parents’ admonitions about what is permissible and what is not, we gradually develop our own inner judges that remind us of the social rules of our family and community. It is of course vital that we develop these parts, for later they will help us learn how to be successful within our social context. It is, however, easy for our system to get out of balance in this process.

A complicating factor is that our biological predisposition causes each of us to learn differently, depending upon the temperament we were born with. The difference between the introverted and the extroverted child is a good example. One effect of this temperamental difference is that introverts are much more reactive to external stimuli, such as the stern voice of the parent. If we apply that difference to the process of developing our inner critics and judges we find this temperamental difference can have a strong impact.

Take as an example the parent saying no no to a child, perhaps as they were about to touch an object at Grandma’s house. The same tone of voice by the parent for the introverted child is heard as NO NO while for the extroverted child it is no no, simply because of the difference in the inborn arousal level of their systems. The result of this might be that the introverted child will not touch that or any other object at Grandma’s and is made very cautious by the “severe” reprimand. The no no for the extroverted child, on the other hand, barely registers, and two minutes later he is touching the object again.

It is possible under these conditions that the critical and judging parts of the sensitive child may become both harsh and powerful in the system, as the child grows up. This can lead to the development of a severe self-critic part which keeps the adult in constant fear of being criticized. This can take up much of the person’s internal system’s energy and create an over-controlled and perhaps perfectionistic system that might look something like this living room with its extreme inner critic and judging parts.

Perfectionism is usually an indication of powerful inner critics and judging parts.

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