Off with My Head by Stassi Schroeder

Author:Stassi Schroeder
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gallery Books
Published: 2022-04-26T00:00:00+00:00

Deciding to buy a house is exciting, but the actual buying process is a nightmare that I never want to experience again. The whole time we were going through it I just kept thinking, Why wasn’t I taught about this in high school?! Like, why did I have to learn how to bake blueberry muffins and doughnuts in home economics? Home ec class should’ve taught us how to buy a freaking house. It’s complicated, it takes forever, and it’s competitive. Once the whole process was over, I was like, “That’s it, we’re living in this house forever.” Once I got pregnant, I realized that the house was charming, but it was the opposite of baby-friendly. There are literal hazards everywhere. There are steep staircases everywhere, it’s on a cliff, there are old-timey vents she could stick her fingers in. When I lived alone, I pretty much just had to worry about things like passing out in a pizza box or my cable going out in the middle of an episode of RHONY. Suddenly every staircase, window, balcony, electrical outlet, and sharp object seemed terrifying, and not the fun haunted house kind of terrifying either.

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