Nova 3 by Anthology

Author:Anthology [Anthology]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Commissioner Gene Kuhn

Address the First Annual

Owners’ Meeting of the National Combat Football League

Gentlemen, I’ve been thinking about the future of our great sport. We’re facing a double challenge to the future of Combat football, boys. First of all, the NFL is going over to Combat rules next season, and since you can’t copyright a sport (and if you could the NFL would have us by the short hairs anyway) there’s not a legal thing we can do about it. The only edge we’ll have left is that they’ll have to at least wear heavy uniforms because they play in regular cities up north. But they’ll have the stars, and the stadiums, and the regular home town fans and fatter television deals.

Which brings me to our second problem, gentlemen, namely that the television network which created our great game is getting to be a pain in our sport’s neck, meaning that they’re shafting us in the crummy percentage of the television revenue they see fit to grant us.

So the great task facing our great National Pastime, boys, is to ace out the network by putting ourselves in a better bargaining position on the television rights while saving our million-dollar asses from the NFL competition, which we just cannot afford.

Fortunately, it just so happens your commissioner has been on the ball, and I’ve come up with a couple of new gimmicks that I am confident will insure the posterity and financial success of our great game while stiff-arming the NFL and the TV network nicely in the process.

Number one, we’ve got to improve our standing as a live spectator sport. We’ve got to start drawing big crowds on our own if we want some clout in negotiating with the network. Number two, we’ve got to give the customers something the NFL can’t just copy from us next year and clobber us with.

There’s no point in changing the rules again because the NFL can always keep up with us there. But one thing the NFL is locked into for keeps is the whole concept of having teams represent cities; they’re committed to that for the next twenty years. We’ve only been in business four years and our teams never play in the damned cities they’re named after because it’s too cold to play bare-ass Combat in those cities during the football season, so it doesn’t have to mean anything to us.

So we make two big moves. First, we change our season to spring and summer so we can play up north where the money is. Second, we throw out the whole dumb idea of teams representing cities; that’s old-fashioned stuff. That’s crap for the coyotes. Why not six teams with national followings? Imagine the clout that’ll give us when we renegotiate the TV contract. We can have a flexible schedule so that we can put any game we want into any city in the country any time we think that city’s hot and draw a capacity crowd in the biggest stadium in town.

How

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.