No More Heroes by Henry Biernacki

Author:Henry Biernacki [Biernacki, Henry]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781452089775
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Published: 2010-11-19T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER XVIII

A Talk in the Cafe

When people talk about the past it’s like opening an ancient chest and seeing antiques that revive old memories.

Foxy’s mind opened and her chest pulsed as she talked about her husband. She looked away and glared intently at the empty space directly in front of her. And then she told Niklas a secret. “Before I married my husband I looked up the roots of his last name. I wanted to see if he had good blood.” Foxy stopped talking. Niklas could see her eyes focus on the figure of a person who was not there. “Niklas, I remember after our wedding I was depressed for weeks until something new came along to require me to plan again.”

She talked the entire time he watched her staring into the empty space. You know how easy it is to focus on something completely about a person and not hear a word they say? When Foxy talked she had a feminine voice. She was not asking to have a man in her life, but she certainly had the extreme sorrow most women hate to reveal when a man was not in her life.

“Did you look up to him Foxy? Did you look up to him for his passion and ability to live?”

“I don’t know if he knew this,” Foxy stopped and looked up and away while she paused and heavily sighed, “and I should have told him, but he truly took my breath away. I really wanted to be like him from the time we first got to know one another. I wanted to be someone that I wanted to be, wished so hard to be the person, to find the person in myself as my natural true being, you know, the person who would be compatible with him and his life, and give and receive love and energy with him, to be with him. I always battled the fear of not fully and truly being that someone. I struggled with the gap that I came to realize and face between the person I wished to be and my unchangeable self.”

Foxy made it a point, when she talked about love, to teach Niklas and tell him it was a feeling so exact and precise that you and your lover become one being. Foxy made it sound like she gave her husband ownership of her body and he gave her ownership of his body for the time they were together.

Life cannot be lived worrying about oneself. Love shares feelings with the people it loves. She told Niklas to be patient because right now he was too caught up with trying to go to extremes. Love is a curious thing, and when in love it was even more curious. It is the time that while, in love, makes one’s life feel infinite.

Foxy said most people can fall in love with anyone only because they don’t want to be alone. Foxy looked directly at him as she lifted and pulled her hot cocoa to her mouth.

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