Ninja Communications The Art and Science of Influence by Hines Oscar

Author:Hines, Oscar [Hines, Oscar]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Genuine Journey LLC
Published: 2018-01-22T16:00:00+00:00

“If you’re playing a poker game and you look around the table and can’t tell who the sucker is, it’s you.”

Paul Newman

Look for the Tell

We are all familiar with the childhood fable Pinocchio , every time he told a lie his nose would grow. There is more truth to this than many realize; if you are speaking to a group, watch your listeners while you speak. If during the conversation they scratch or rub their nose, there is a very strong possibility that they disagree with what is being said. As a speaker that’s your cue to adjust your message or provide further proof to back up your statements.

In fact, even if they are speaking and they tell a lie, they may rub or scratch their nose. In poker, this would be known as A Tell . People will have different tells but nose scratching or rubbing is a common indicator of disagreement or insincerity. Of course, it’s possible that the person’s nose may actually just be itching, so it is important to look at the context of what they are saying or hearing when they rub or scratch their nose.

What if they have a different Tell ? What if they have a different way they show this disagreement or deception? A professional polygraph technician is trained to observe what’s called a “baseline”. At the beginning of a polygraph test the technician asks certain questions that they know the answer to, this establishes a “baseline”. They may ask “true or false; is your name John Smith?” Since this is a true statement, they are looking for an outcome that establishes the standard. Once they’ve determined this baseline, then it is easier to detect deception. We can do the same when speaking to someone. If there is a topic that is disagreeable to them, or they may hear a statement that they strongly disagree to, watch them very closely at the very moment of these comments .

It is very likely that the person will show their disagreement through specific facial expressions or body language in that moment. Take a mental note and watch for consistency of this sign, when you have seen it a few times in moments of disagreement, you now have your “tell”. This can establish a baseline as you progress in the conversation. This technique will be easier to master with coworkers, family, or people you are around on a regular basis. If the person is a stranger to you, you will need to watch them very closely and look for signs as soon as you begin engaging them. It should go without saying that you never reveal what you are observing to anyone, in keeping with the traditions of a Ninja, your greatest weapon is stealth.

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