New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer by Bill Maher

Author:Bill Maher
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Rodale Books
Published: 2006-09-05T05:00:00+00:00

Hitting below the Beltway

NEW RULE

You can’t be a Washington outsider if you’re already the president. Hearing President Bush constantly complain about “the politicians” and the “Washington mind-set” and saying things like “I got news for the Washington crowd” is like hearing Courtney Love bitch about junkies.

“Washington Insider” is by definition a function of one’s proximity to the president. That’s you, Mr. Bush. When you’re given check-writing privileges by the Federal Reserve, you just might be a Washington Insider.

Put it this way: You’re not the Mr. Smith in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington—you’re the Washington part. We need a Mr. Smith to fuck with you! You’re not on a mission you reluctantly accepted, like the old farts in Space Cowboys —you campaigned for it. So it’s a little late to be selling yourself as some fish-out-of-water cowboy visiting the big city on assignment. You’re not Mc-Cloud. For 17 of the last 24 years you’ve had a key to the White House. The last thing that happened in Washington without you Bushes getting a piece was Marion Barry’s crack habit. The Exorcist happened in Georgetown, but Satan had to run it by Jim Baker first.

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