New Moan by Mayo Stephfordy

Author:Mayo, Stephfordy [Mayo, Stephfordy]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Michael O' Mara Books
Published: 2010-06-26T07:00:00+00:00

chapter 11

* * *

withdrawal

Time, like a river, flowed onwards. Also like a river, it was wet and there were hidden hazards and whirlpools. Also like a river, you could go skinny-dipping in it. And before I knew it, it was our one-month anniversary and I’d just got a D in ‘Sense and Similes’.

Naturally, I went straight to Miss Shirley and demanded to know what in the blazes was going on. I’d narrated over half a book, been in and out of mortal danger and found my true love, and I was still getting poor grades for style? It was unbelievable.

I knocked on the cottage door. Miss Shirley looked up from where she was comforting one of the extras who’d failed her third ‘named role’ qualification exam, and sighed when she saw me, motioning the extra to fade into the background. ‘Miss Lump, what can I do for you today?’

‘A D in “Sense and Similes”? A D? Frankly, this mark is almost as ludicrous as the “dark mark”. I mean, why would you have a tattoo that told everyone you were part of an evil secret society?’

Miss Shirley winced, causing her aged face to wrinkle even more unattractively. ‘Judging from that, I’m surprised you didn’t get an F. I’m somewhat concerned about your progress, Heffa. You seem to spend all your time daydreaming of late. I do realize that you had that hospital stay recently, but, really, you need to throw yourself back into the action, not just spend weeks without any narrative or emotional development at all. You’ve got to try something new, experiment a little.’

I couldn’t believe what she was telling me. Everyone knew that true originality scared the life out of people. Far better to be a bit like everything else! Did she want me to move into post-modern fiction and lose all my ‘I’s or something? I’d rather die!

‘But I’m working really hard, I do all my homework, I’m trying to get Teddy to initiate adult relations, I’m just not sure what else I can do!’

I broke into tears. That usually got teachers to increase my grades, at least those ones Teddy hadn’t already threatened into giving me straight As.

‘Heffa, my dear, I’ve been headmistress of this school for years. You’re going to have to do better than crying if you want to move me. I’ve seen it all before. You do have a lot of potential, but you’re just going to have to stop writing “Heffa Kelledy” on all your notebooks over and over again and do some actual work. You can’t coast on adolescent emotional confusion for ever, you know.’

She smiled encouragingly at me, but it was far too late, my soul was crushed and my dreams ruined. I would never recover, and then she’d be sorry.

She led me to the door gently. ‘Just try thinking through your reactions a little bit. If you immediately fall into despair at the least setback, I don’t see how we can help you.’

How wrong could she be? I

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