Never Yours by Sandra Cole

Author:Sandra Cole
Language: eng
Format: epub
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Publisher: Sandra Cole
Published: 2019-02-20T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 9

Shit, what have I done?

As I scrabbled around in the office, trying to find all of my clothes, I felt nothing but regret and shame. Now that the thick cloud of lust was gone from my judgement, all I could see was what a mistake this was for so many reasons. What sort of impression must I have given off just having sex with him like that? Just because I’d been having a relationship in my mind with him, didn’t make it real. According to Aron I’d just had sex with him completely out of the blue.

That wasn’t the way a self-respecting woman was supposed to behave. Women who men fell in love with were the ones who got taken out on dates, not the ones who got screwed in offices. I might have just wrecked my chance to actually be with this wonderful man, and that crushed my heart. I didn’t want to be a notch on his bedpost, that was never what my fantasies were about. I wanted to love him, to be loved by him, and now I’d blown that completely.

I couldn’t look at him as I pulled my scrubs back over me, all I could think about was how awful and awkward work was going to be now. As if it wasn’t difficult enough, I now had this to deal with. It was almost as if I wanted to torture myself. Now I had a true unrequited love story that was going to plague me forever more.

Damn it, maybe it was time to move, to move on to another hospital, just to get away from this.

“Are you okay?” Aron sounded cold and distant. Or maybe it was concern in his voice, I wasn’t sure, I didn’t think I wanted to know.

“I just need to get home, that’s all. I have...stuff to do.” I flicked my eyes everywhere but at him, trying to ensure that I hadn’t left anything behind.

“Let me give you a ride...”

“No,” I snapped, stepping back before he could touch me. “No, I don’t want a ride, thank you. I need to get the bus.”

I didn’t mean to act such a bitch, I just no longer felt comfortable at all. I needed to be alone so I could process what had just happened. I felt like every second spent in Dr. Turner’s presence was another chance to make a fool out of myself.

“You can’t get a bus, it’s too late. Let me take you back.”

I met his eyes for just a second, and I could see some hurt there, but it wasn’t enough to stop me. I’d ruined everything already, I might as well do it a bit more. “I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself. I already told you that.”

Aron stared at me, panting heavily and I did the same back to him. He didn’t know what to say anymore, and neither did I. Everything I said only made it worse anyway, so maybe it was time to leave.

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