Never Lick a Moving Blender! by Marvin Phillips

Author:Marvin Phillips
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Howard Publishing Co
Published: 1996-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Fourteen

Broccoli Can Kill

George Bush, former president of the United States, and I have at least one thing in common. We both hate broccoli. And I love all that satire and all those jokes about broccoli.

Some guy was doing a piece in a pharmaceutical journal. He noted that nearly all sick people have eaten broccoli and that the effects are cumulative. It’s estimated that 99.9 percent of all people who die from cancer have eaten broccoli at least once. About the same amount of those who have been involved in automobile accidents ate broccoli within sixty days before the accident. Suspicious. Mighty suspicious. Some 93.4 percent of juvenile delinquents come from homes where broccoli is served frequently. And get this: among those born between 1820 and 1850 there has been a 100 percent mortality rate among broccoli eaters. Further, all broccoli eaters who were born between 1900 and 1910 today have wrinkled skin, brittle bones, few teeth, and failing eyesight … that is, if the perils of broccoli have not already caused their deaths. You can certainly see why George Bush and I do not eat broccoli.

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