Miranda Hart by Sophie Johnson

Author:Sophie Johnson [Sophie Johnson]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781843588450
Publisher: John Blake Publishing
Published: 2011-09-12T12:00:00+00:00

12

ADVENTURES IN A JOKE SHOP

‘Hello to you and thanks for joining! This is exciting, isn’t it?’

– Miranda

‘So here we are. It’s show time. Episode One tonight,’ wrote Miranda on her BBC blog that Monday night in November 2009. All her hard work had built up to this moment, so it was unsurprising she was nervous about how it would be received. ‘Hope you enjoy the show tonight. I can’t believe it’s going out (this has been years in the coming). My career either takes off or comes to a sad end tonight…!’

Miranda remembered the first day’s filming was a location shoot for scenes for this episode – including Patricia Hodge fainting in a busy high street: ‘So on the first day’s filming it was “Hello Patricia, lovely to meet you, thanks for doing this, now we just need you to faint on to this grubby Hounslow pavement – ok, action…”’ She saw someone sweeping the pavement ahead of Patricia having to lie there and was most impressed, telling her blog readership: ‘I thought, that’s nice, I do lots of falling over in this show, perhaps that will be a precedent. Let me tell you – I have yet to be swept for. I am still waiting.’

The first-ever episode sees Miranda excited about being reunited with her crush, Gary Preston, who she hears is back from travelling. She decides to give in and go to lunch with her old school friends, despite the fact that she hates them. It’s either that or help Stevie unpack the chocolate penises and wrongly delivered baby stock. She goes to the restaurant next door and discovers Gary is working there as the new chef. Trying her best to impress, she at first tells him she has trapped wind, and then lies that she was a gymnast in the last Olympics… in the busty category.

After her girly lunch where she inadvertently agrees to go wedding-dress shopping, she lies to Gary again, saying that her two children (Orlando and Bloom) froze to death – children that of course have never existed. Gary doesn’t mind, though, and asks her if she’d like to go to dinner, saying, ‘Don’t worry, it’s not a date, it’s just a thing.’ She then worries about what to wear, so, after she ‘tidies’ away the boxes of stock (by putting them in Stevie’s office), she goes shopping. Struggling to find something in her size, she unwittingly buys an outfit from a shop for transvestites. She feels proud when a customer compliments her, but less so when Stevie sees her wearing the outfit and asks why she is dressed as a transvestite. At this point, Gary walks in and Miranda rushes upstairs to change. Meanwhile, Stevie is furious to discover the boxes stored in her office.

Eventually, Gary and Miranda have a lovely dinner and things seem to be going well. But after he goes up the stairs to Miranda’s flat, he discovers it is filled with all the baby stock. He apologises the next

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