Marabou Stork Nightmares by Irvine Welsh

Author:Irvine Welsh [Welsh, Irvine]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: (¯`'•.¸//(*_*)\\¸.•'´¯)
ISBN: 9781407019390
Publisher: Random House
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

10 Bernard Visits

Bernard has come to see me in the hospital. He comes in every few days or weeks or months, I think: time has no meaning in my state. Bernard comes to read his poems to me. At last the sad queen has found a captive audience.

The only interesting thing about Bernard's visits is that he alone actually seems to believe that I can hear him. When the others talk to me their tones are strained, forced; full of self-obsessed pity, confessional and self-justifying. Bernard is the only one who seems completely at ease. We were never so at ease with each other. Why is he being so nice to me?

— Mind South Africa, Roy? Johannesfuckinburg, he spits. — I fuckin hated inhere. Mind you, there was bags of talent. Ah hudnae really come oot then but. That was the onewaste, these boys of all races . . . but of course, you scored more than me in that department, he giggles,— You mercenary wee closet rent-boy you.

EH? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU OAN ABOOT YOU SILLY FUCKIN QUEEN . . .

—Oh aye. Ah kent aw aboot you and Gordon. Poor old Uncle Gordon. Fascist prick. How the fuck . . .

— Oh, he tried it on with me too. With me first. Disappointed Roy? Oh yes, I'm a queen alright lovey, but a damn sight more choosy than that. I mean, it's a bit like you and Gran, both hetero's, right? Well, I'm assuming, possibly naively in light of your track-record, that you wouldn't go down on her arid old cunt. Right? His voice is teasy, jesting, rather than malicious.

FUCK OFF YOU HIDEOUS QUEER . . .

—No more than I'd take Uncle Gordon into my gob. But you did. didn't you, eh Roy? What else did that sick low-life do to you, Roy?

DID AH FUCK. . .WEDIDNOWT. . . IT WIS A WANK, THAT WIS AW . . .

—Sorry Roy. That was out of order. Do you mind ay South Africa though? I still think of it now. It inspired a few poems. that year did. Remember when Gordon took us to Sun City for that weekend?

I remember that. We took a short flight down from the City of Gold to the African Vegas, in the nominally independent homeland of Bophuthatswana. Gambling was, of course, illegal in the Republic. The Sun City jaunt was a little package Gordon put together to get John and Vet down there to do what he always tried to do; make them feel inadequate by showing off his wealth and his many business interests.

I remember it okay. It was a great time. We stayed in the Cascades Hotel, the most expensive and luxurious in Sun City. As the name of the hotel suggests, water was its principal theme. Its liberal use of the stuff produced rich, tropical, landscaped grounds. Kim and I spent ages wandering through this homemade rainforest, with its waterfalls, streams, paths and bridges. We were the only kids there and it was like our own private paradise.

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