Making Love Last Forever by Gary Smalley

Author:Gary Smalley
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2010-04-04T00:00:00+00:00

Parental Effectiveness Scale:

Rating the Way You Were Raised

As we’ve discussed, unhealthy relational patterns tend to be passed down from generation to generation—unless one makes a conscious effort to change course.

Consider again the line of Abraham Lincoln: “If we could first know where we were and whither we were tending, we could better judge what to do and how to do it.”

The ten questions in this inventory will help you judge where you’ve been so you can better judge where you are and where you should be in terms of relational health.

On a scale of 0-10, use the following statements to rate the way you were reared by your parents (0 = not at all; 10 = all the time).

My parents were:

_____ 1. Like dictators, wanted obedience.

_____ 2. Rigid, forceful with strict rules, values, beliefs, and expectations

(shamed us if we differed).

_____ 3. Critical, judgmental with harsh punishment. (“I felt abused emotionally, sexually, physically, mentally, or spiritually.”)

_____ 4. Closed to talking about certain subjects: sex, religion, politics, feelings.

_____ 5. Poor listeners about my thinking and feelings.

_____ 6. Like a machine with many demands (“you should” and “you should not”).

_____ 7. Degrading with names such as “stupid,” “lazy,” “no good.”

_____ 8. Cold and indifferent toward me.

_____ 9. Resistant to changes and learning new things. (It was not easy to disagree with them and stay “safe.”)

_____ 10. Distant (not close friends, and I was not invited to do things with them regularly).

_____ Total score. Add up the numbers of your ten responses.

The higher your score (the closer it is to the max of 100), the higher the potential for your having been raised in an emotionally unhealthy home.

Questions for further thought: How much “old baggage” do you still carry? Do the statements reflect your current relationship to your spouse or children?

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.