Magic and Mayhem: Witches Be Crazy (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Stacy Justice Magical Mysteries Book 0) by Barbra Annino

Author:Barbra Annino [Annino, Barbra]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kindle Worlds
Published: 2016-10-16T22:00:00+00:00

~SIX~

Bob wasn’t such a bad guy. He was kind of sweet, actually. Except he loved show tunes and knew every word to every song from Cats and Wicked. I know this because he demonstrated for all of us. Repeatedly. He was also a playwright. Presumably a bad one, judging from his latest idea of re-telling the sinking of the Titanic from the iceberg’s point of view.

Roger liked to watch porn. Really weird porn. Sock puppet porn, food porn (which is a lot ickier than it sounds), and turtle porn. Yes, that’s right. There is such a thing as turtle porn and it will make your eyes bleed. So in a way, my hunch was correct. Though he wasn’t a predator, Roger was indeed a pervert.

“If I hear wha-wha-wha one more time, I’m going to stab you in the throat with my sword,” I said.

There was a bit of shuffling in the backseat. Then I heard the theme song to Jaws. “Apologies, Miss Stacy.”

Miss Stacy. I liked the ring of that. Southern charm was beginning to grow on me. I was about to suggest they drop the Miss and call me Majesty Stacy, when next to me, Chance decided to beat on the GPS like it was a drum and he was Ringo Starr. He swore under his breath.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

Chance looked perplexed. “The damn thing keeps re-directing itself to somewhere called Assjacket, West Virginia. That can’t be right, can it? How can a town be called that? Who votes on something like that?”

Roger cleared his throat. “Actually, we programmed that in when you stopped at the last gas station. You see, that’s where we live. It would be lovely if you kind people would take us there.”

I turned to face them, narrowing my eyes. “You said you wanted to be dropped at the nearest Waffle House.”

Why he didn’t want to go to a hospital to get his nose, head, and foot examined, I didn’t know, but apparently Waffle House is the Denny’s of the south.

Bob said, “We did, but we’re having so much fun.”

I rubbed my temples. Why did these things always happen to me? The first vacation in forever, alone time with my handsome hunk, and I have to share it with the cast of a Will Ferrell movie.

Chance looked at me. “Roger and Bob are from Assjacket, Stacy.”

“That explains a lot.”

“It’s out of our way.”

“Big picture, babe. Big picture.”

Just then, a pickup driven by three fat cats sideswiped us.

The car careened and Chance fought to control the wheel as the truck sped out of sight. That’s when I spotted Thor in the bed of the truck. The look on his face indicated he was about to have a furry feast.

Roger said to Bob, “Was that Boba Fett?”

Bob said, “And Fat Bastard and Jango Fett.”

And that’s when I’d had just about enough.

I whipped around, grabbed both men by the collars and knocked their heads together. “Tell me what’s going on right now, or I swear to Danu, I’ll

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