In the Stillness by Andrea Randall & Lori Sabin

Author:Andrea Randall & Lori Sabin [Randall, Andrea & Sabin, Lori]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Amazon: B00CB24VS2
Published: 2013-04-09T05:00:00+00:00

Vodka burns my throat as I recall that he hated anyone else calling him Ry, but me. He signed every letter “Ry” like it was his way of sealing it with a kiss.

“Well, this is fucking brutal.” My gums are numb. “Why did you suggest this, again?” I slur at Tosha.

“I figured we ought to cleanse your entire aura at once, instead of piece by piece. Are you ever going to pick up your phone? Eric’s called a thousand times.”

I ignore her question. “So. I loved Ryker. He loved me. PTSD came in and fucked us both royally over and, somehow, here I sit.” I look around her apartment. “Maybe I should have stuck it out with him—”

“Stop right there. The point of this exercise is to remind you that you did the right thing. You agreed to be in a relationship with the man who wrote those letters. Not the one who came home—”

“It wasn’t his fault, Tosha!” I snap.

She takes a deep breath. “I know it wasn’t, Natalie. But what was his fault was his choice not to seek out help, and lying to you that he had . . .”

“He was sick,” I whisper.

“Mmhmm,” she stands up and sits back down next to me, wrapping her arms around my neck, “and so were you. Given the last time you saw each other, we’re lucky either one of you are alive. You can’t keep beating yourself up over it, Natalie. You didn’t ruin his life. You probably saved it. You saw him, he looks great. It’s time to leave the guilt behind.” She tucks my hair behind my ear and kisses my cheek.

I lean my head on her shoulder as she continues. “I don’t mean that Ryker is the only person that can love you that way. I mean you’re worthy of the kind of love found in the pages of those letters, Nat. You hear me? But, it needs to come from you, first. You have to love you, again. Got it?”

Leaving my head on her shoulder, I sit in eerie silence until I fall asleep.

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