In the First Circle by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Author:Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn [Solzhenitsyn, Aleksandr]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Tags: General, Fiction, Literary, Historical, Political, Soviet Union, Unread
ISBN: 9780061479014
Publisher: Harper Perennial
Published: 2009-10-01T00:00:00+00:00

Nadya had got involved with him almost without noticing - that ticket to the cinema, their joking tussle over the notebook - and now that Shchagov had come tonight, even while he was still only teasing Dasha, she had realized at once that he had come to see her, and that something was going to happen.

A minute before, she had been crying her heart out over her ruined life. But after she had torn up the ten-rouble note she had felt a surge of new strength and readiness to face life again. She had been aware of no inconsistency in this.

But Shchagov, overcoming the strong feelings aroused by his brief flirtation with her, had recovered his usual composure and clearly given her to understand that there could be no question of his marrying her.

After hearing about his fiancee, Nadya walked unsteadily round the room for a while, then came over and stood at the window next to him, and silently drew on the pane with her finger.

He was sorry for her. He wanted to break the silence and tell her quite simply, with a kind of bluntness he had long ago abandoned, that as a poor graduate student, with neither connections nor prospects, she could not possibly help him to get all the things he felt he had a right to. He wanted to explain to her that though his fiance lived a life of luxury, she had not been spoilt by it. She had a fine flat in an exclusive building reserved for the elite. It had a porter and carpets on the stairs - not something you saw very often nowadays. But the main thing was that all his problems would be solved at one go, in a way that couldn't be more satisfactory.

But he kept these thoughts to himself.

And Nadya, leaning her forehead against the glass and staring out into the night, at last said glumly:

'Wonderful. You have a fiancee. And I have a husband.'

Shchagov looked at her in astonishment.

'A husband? Where is he? I thought he was missing?'

'No, he's not missing,' Nadya almost whispered.

(How rashly she was giving herself away!)

'You think he's still alive?'

'I saw him - today.'

(Now she had given herself away completely, but let him at least see that she was not just a stupid girl throwing herself at him!)

Shchagov was quick to see the meaning of what she had just said. He did not think, as a woman might have, that Nadya had simply been thrown over by her husband. He knew that 'missing in action' almost always meant 'displaced person', and that anyone in this category who came back again was generally sent straight to prison.

He took Nadya's elbow.

'Is he in prison?'

'Yes.'

Well, well, well,' Shchagov said, greatly relieved. He thought a minute, then quickly went out of the room.

Nadya was so overcome with shame and hopelessness that she had not caught the change in his voice.

It was a good thing that he'd gone, and she was glad that she had unburdened herself: she was now all alone again with her sorrows, but at least she could be honest about them.

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