I Forced a Bot to Write This Book by Keaton Patti

Author:Keaton Patti
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Published: 2020-11-10T00:12:44+00:00

SAW 9: SAWITDABA DA BANG DA BANG DIGGY DIGGY DIGGY

INT. WHALE

A sexy woman, BECKY SEXWOMAN, is covered in blood, chained to a bed. She’s in a whale, but doesn’t know it yet.

BECKY

AH!!! Blood is supposed to be inside my body, not outside it!

An old TV turns on. We know it’s old because it’s covered in cobwebs and voted for Trump. The doll from the other movies appears on the screen, but this time he’s sexier. We know he’s sexier because he’s covered in sexwebs.

SEXY DOLL

Hello, Becky. Want to play a game?

BECKY

Yes. Of course. Don’t be silly. Yes. 100%. Game please.

Becky still doesn’t realize she’s inside a whale.

SEXY DOLL

Becky, you are inside a whale.

Becky now realizes she’s inside a whale. She’s fine with it.

SEXY DOLL (CONT’D)

I hid the key to this whale inside your pancreas.

BECKY

(whispers to self)

Good thing I’m a pancreas doctor.

SEXY DOLL

But since I know you’re a pancreas doctor, I took it out of your pancreas and put it in one of your kidneys. The cool one.

BECKY

(whispers to self)

Ah, fuck. I don’t know kidneys.

A countdown starts counting down from one hour on the TV.

SEXY DOLL

Whoa, what the fuck is that? I didn’t do that. Who did that?

The whale did that.

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