How to Kill Men and Get Away With It by Katy Brent
Author:Katy Brent [Brent, Katy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollinsPublishers
Published: 2022-10-15T00:00:00+00:00
38
COLLINSâ CUTS SLAUGHTERHOUSE, HAMPSHIRE
I get a text from Charlie around mid-morning asking me if he can come over to talk. Iâm halfway through putting the remains of Niall through the grinder when my phone beeps and I manage to smear blood over the screen as I tap out a reply.
âSure, Iâll be home after lunch xxâ
âSee you then.â
No kisses.
I know this isnât a good sign and Iâm going to have to come up with something convincing to explain what was going on last night.
Charlie arrives at around 2pm and he doesnât return my smile when I open the door.
This is worse than I thought.
âDo you want a drink?â I ask, leading him through to the kitchen. âIâve got some vegan sushi that I was just about to have if you want to share â¦?â
He sits down at the kitchen island and shakes his head.
The silence between us ripples with tension. I can tell itâs not the good kind either.
I sit opposite him and steel myself for whatâs coming next.
âThis is about last night, isnât it?â
He nods. âIâm not an idiot, Kitty. It was quite obvious you had a man here.â
I open my mouth to say something but he cuts me off.
âI know weâve not said anything about being exclusive, but it made me feel jealous. I hated it. And I hated that you lied. Although I shouldnât have dropped over unannounced.â
âItâs not what you think â¦â I start, cringing at the cliché.
âIt doesnât matter,â he sighs. âWhat matters is that it drove me mad, thinking about you here with another man. About what you were doing in here.â
An image of Niallâs head lolling lifelessly to one side with a knife sticking out of his neck pops into my mind and I almost laugh.
âAnyway,â Charlie continues, âI guess what Iâm trying to say is that Iâm not ready for this. I like you, Kitty, a lot. But Iâm just not at a point where I can risk myself getting hurt. And you obviously arenât ready to be involved with someone seriously. Iâm sorry, but I donât think I can see you again. I just wanted to speak to you face to face. Not be a dick about it.â
I donât know what to say. What does one say while getting dumped?
âIt really wasnât what you think,â I try.
âSo, tell me then?â
I shake my head. âI canât.â
âIf Iâm with someone, Iâm all in,â he says. âI donât do half measures or open relationships or anything like that.â
I nod.
Charlie leans in and kisses me on the cheek. âBe happy, Kits.â
And then heâs gone.
Ten minutes later, my phone beeps and I look to see that Iâve got a message on Insta.
âBoo hoo for you. At least this one escaped with his life.â
The Creep. With the excellent timing only an internet stalker can pull off. I try to ignore the rising fear that someone, somewhere seems to know every move I make.
I spend the rest of the day in bed, with a bottle of wine.
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Dark Humor | Humorous |
Satire |
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