How To Get A Man Without Getting Played: 29 Dating Secrets to Catch Mr. Right, Set Your Standards, and Eliminate Time Wasters by Bruce Bryans

Author:Bruce Bryans [Bryans, Bruce]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2017-03-04T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Three:

The Beliefs and Standards of High-Value Women

19

Be firm but gracious when communicating your limits with men. The key to expressing your boundaries or rebuffing a man’s premature sexual advances in an attractive way is to allude to your desire for him while setting your standard.

Never be afraid to enforce your personal boundaries or express your limitations with a man. Being able to do so with poise and decorum will subconsciously communicate to him that you are a high-value woman, one who has standards and reasonable expectations. Women who can confidently tell a man what they want and don’t want are rare and therefore VERY sought after.

Unfortunately, many women are terrified to set boundaries with a man they’re highly attracted to because they fear that he’ll lose interest, withdraw, or become completely turned off. These women believe that telling a man “No” or shutting down his premature sexual advances might drive away a potential boyfriend. If you struggle to set boundaries with men due to a deep fear of potential loss, you can stop worrying about it. Your fear of loss is groundless, and here’s why: The men who won’t be turned off by your limits are the ones who will cherish you the most.

Of course, if you are worried about coming across as being “too demanding” or “not interested enough”, try to use the “firm but enticing” technique. When you must express your limitations or outright reject a man’s advances, simply state how you feel but use a hint of seduction to keep him intrigued. Here’s a simple yet powerful step-by-step communication method for accomplishing this:

1. Compliment him by telling him how he makes you feel. The best way to do this is to say something genuine about him that singles him out as being “better” than other men in some way.

2. Communicate your boundaries and tell him “No” in a clear but courteous way.

3. Express to him why the boundary is important to you.

For example, if a man is trying to be too sexually forward with you, it’s one thing to tell him, “No, I’m not ready,” and another thing to tell him, “Listen, Mike, I like you. A lot. I mean…you make me feel things I’ve never felt for any man before. But I’m not ready for this yet. I want to give myself to the man who wants me for a lifetime. I hope you understand.”

Did you see the difference there?

The first boundary setting is perfectly fine, but it won’t make his mind burn with anticipation and curiosity like the second one. And if “Mike” considers himself to be a potential “lifetime lover” candidate, he’ll do whatever he can to prove to you that he’s the man for job, no matter how long it takes.

By using the firm but enticing technique you’ll communicate your limits and make the right man desperate to see you again all at the same time. Men don’t mind being rejected once it’s done with grace and respect for their ego. A

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