How to Be Funny: The One and Only Practical Guide for Every Occasion, Situation, and Disaster (no kidding) by Jon Macks

Author:Jon Macks [Macks, Jon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

PLAYING THE DOZENS

“Your mama’s so fat when she cut her legs shaving gravy came out.”

In the African-American community playing the dozens (aka snaps or ranking) is a much more formalized way of busting your friends. We know it best as “your mama”; in fact, the first “your mama” joke has its roots four hundred years ago in Shakespeare:

“Thou clay brained guts, thou knotty pated fool, thou whoreson, obscene, greasy tallow catch.”

—Henry IV, Part I, Act II, Scene iv

For now we’re talking about the fun busting of friends. Later on, we’ll see how the same technique can be used to put down an enemy.

TIPS FOR PLAYING THE DOZENS

There are boxers and fighters. Boxers are quick; fighters deliver the big knockout blow.

The best targets are your friends, their family members, and people they’re dating.

There’s a standard setup: “your mama’s so fat,” “you’re so dumb,” “your mama is so ugly.”

Be observant—know what your friend/opponent is wearing, who he’s dating, what she looks like.

*

Know your audience. With friends, dropping the “F” word is not bad language, it’s funny. However, using the “F” word during a parent-teacher conference generally doesn’t work. If you ever use it at an inappropriate time, simply mutter, “I have Tourette’s syndrome,” and chances are, your audience will nod sympathetically.

4.

Advice from the Pros—

The Comedy

Roundtable …

Without the Table

Simon & Schuster gave me an advance of $7,500 to take out some friends, writers and comics, to a series of dinners and record their comments as part of a comedy roundtable. The idea was that these pros—performers, producers, writers, and public speakers such as Jay Leno, Billy Crystal, Garry Shandling, Rita Rudner, Conan O’Brien, Arsenio Hall, Bruce Vilanch, Jeffrey Ross, Dave Barry, George Schlatter, Mary Matalin, James Carville, Carrie Fisher, Gilbert Gottfried, Dave Boone, Eddie Driscoll, Paul Harris, Buz Kohan, Stefanie Wilder, and Paul Begala—would have a great time and I would be able to collect their tips and advice to pass on to you.

Then I had a brilliant idea—keep the $7,500, use it as a down payment on a new Porsche, call these people up collect, get their tips for free, and then organize it as if they were all at dinner with me. I think it worked out pretty well.

“My funny comes from the fact I think everything is absurd. If it’s not funny, it just happened in your life. Be a spy in the house of you. You’re on the frontline so you have to look at yourself and report.”

—Carrie Fisher

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