How to be an Alien by George Mikes

Author:George Mikes [Mikes, George]
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Tags: Ensayo, Ciencias sociales, Humor, Idiomas
Publisher: ePubLibre
Published: 1945-12-31T16:00:00+00:00

Put the little word de in front of your name. This makes people think that you are important. I knew a man called Leo Rosenberg from Graz who called himself Lionel de Rosenberg and everyone thought he was an Austrian prince. Understand that the most important thing in life is to have a nice time, go to nice places and meet nice people. (Now: to have a nice time you must drink too much; nice places are great hotels and large houses with a lot of music and no books; nice people say stupid things in good English—unpleasant people say clever things with a bad accent.) In the old days the man who had no money was not a gentleman. Today, in Mayfair, things are different. A gentleman can have money or borrow money from his friends; the important thing is that even if he is very poor he must not do useful work.

Always laugh if someone says something amusing. Be polite, but do not be serious. Laugh at everything that you are not intelligent enough to understand. Don’t forget that your clothes—your trousers, ties and shirts-are the most important things in your life. Always be drunk after 6.30 p.m.

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