Hit or Myth by Robert Asprin
Author:Robert Asprin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Chapter Thirteen:
"Marriage, being a lifelong venture, must be approached with care and caution. ”
- BLUEBEARD
THE wedding went off without a hitch.
I don't known why I had been worried. There were no interruptions, no missed lines, nobody protested or even coughed at the wrong time. As was previously noted, Queen Hemlock had handled the planning to the last minute detail . . . except for a few surprises we were holding back. That's why I was worried! My cronies and I knew that as gaudy and overdone as the Royal Wedding was, it was only the warm-up act for the main event. There was also the extra heat on me of knowing that I hadn't shared all of my plans with my co-conspirators. It seemed that was another bad habit I had picked up from Aahz.
Grimble and Badaxe were at their usual places as mismatched bookends to the throne, while Chumly, Tananda, Massha, and I, courtesy of my disguise spells and Badaxe's pull as general, were lined up along the foot of the throne as bodyguards. Everything was set to go . . . if we ever got the time!
As dignitary after dignitary stepped forward to offer his or her congratulations and gifts, I found little to occupy my thoughts except how many things could go wrong with my little scheme. I had stuck my neck out a long way with my plan, and if it didn't work, a lot of people would be affected, starting with the king and subjects of Possiltum.
The more I thought, the more I worried until, instead of wishing the dignitaries would hurry, I actually found myself hoping they would take forever and preserve this brief moment of peace.
Of course, no sooner did I start hoping things would last then they were over. The last well-wisher was filing out and the Queen herself rising to leave when Grimble and Badaxe left their customary positions and stepped before the throne.
"Before you go, my dear, " Rodrick said, "our retainers wish to extend their compliments. ”
Queen Hemlock frowned slightly, but resumed her seat.
"The Chancellor of the Exchequer stands ready to support their majesties in any way, " Grimble began. "Of course, even with the new influx of wealth into the treasury, we must watch needless expenses. As always, I stand ready to set the example in cost savings, and so have decided that to purchase a present for you equal to my esteem would be a flagrant and unnecessary expense, and therefore. . . ”
"Yes, yes, Grimble, " the King interrupted. "We understand and appreciate your self-sacrifice. General Badaxe?”
Grimble hesitated, then yielded the floor to his rival. "I am a fighting man, not a speechmaker, " the General said abruptly. "The army stands ready to support the kingdom and the throne of Possiltum. As for myself . . . here is my present. ”
He removed the axe from his belt and laid it on the stairs before the throne.
Whether he was offering his pet weapon or his personal allegiance, I found the gesture eloquent beyond words.
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