High Heels in High Places by Rhonda Rhea

Author:Rhonda Rhea
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2007-09-01T00:00:00+00:00

20

sometimes sandals are the best high heels

I confessed my shoe gluttony early in the book. I thought I’d go ahead and get that out of the way and make sure I had no dignity left in that area before we even reached the end of the first section. I’m a firm believer in full disclosure.

But maybe you’ve been wondering if you’re in the shoe-glutton class too. What kind of ministry would this book offer if I didn’t give you the warning signs of shoe-aholism?

Ten Ways to Know You’re a Shoe-aholic

10. You keep finding shoes you can’t remember ever buying.

9. You’ve mastered the magicians’ scarf trick, with a twist—your closet is the sleeve, your shoes are the scarves, and presto! you pull out one pair, then another pair, then another . . .

8. You have great accessories, but you can no longer afford food.

7. The city says you have to get a merchant’s license if you want to keep that size shoe inventory.

6. Amelda Marcos calls you up to borrow a pair or two.

5. Your friends come over to do a shoe intervention, and when they get to the closet-cleaning part, you notice they brought C-4.

4. As you get the last of your shoes out of the closet to sort them, the echo . . . echo . . . echo . . . scares out the bats.

3. You lay off the shopping for a couple of weeks and shoe stocks take a dangerous nosedive.

2. You decide to name one of your children Prada.

1. The city declares your closet overflow situation a state of emergency, and they make you wait for the government to send in the relief workers before you can start the cleanup.

I’ve passed on the shoe-mania gene to my daughters. Allie, for instance, could likely outfit an entire third world village with the shoes she has in her closet. And a scary closet it is.

Kaley is sixteen and she has the mania down pat too. I know dealing with her mania is pretty hypocritical of me, since my closet could make any relief worker throw up his hands and walk out. But Kaley’s closet? Positively unsafe! As scary as it was, I decided, hypocrisy or no hypocrisy, if she was ever going to find anything in that closet again, I was going to have to dig in and help her clean it—from the inside. It was either that or toss in a grenade.

I tossed the grenade idea around a little, but I never found an aisle at Wal-Mart marked “Miscellaneous Explosives.” Still, the deed had to be done. I went in. Unarmed. Oh, the things a mother must do for the safety of her family!

Mind you, we’ve only lived in the house for four years. Still, from the look of it, that closet hadn’t had a good cleaning for a couple of decades. I thought about the origin of the word closet. Isn’t it from the Greek “closetorium,” which means “where the dog wouldn’t even throw up”? I don’t think C-4 would’ve made a dent in this thing.

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