High as the Horses' Bridles by Scott Cheshire

Author:Scott Cheshire
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9780805098228
Publisher: Henry Holt and Co.

A year went by before I could leave and afford an apartment of my own. I had a job at a Radio Shack and I finally cried for my girlfriend. A few years passed before I gave my savings to a coworker who had been developing what seemed a good idea for a video game. We got lucky. And before long, I was living in the future. When did that happen, exactly? Life was about what comes, and this was a frightening time for me because you cannot ever really know what is coming, no matter what, not the hour or the day. I was suddenly hanging out there like a leaf about to fall. But I was getting more and more okay with the idea of falling; everything that ever made me afraid started sloughing off like scales. One by one. Then I started picking them off.

I went to work one day at Radio Shack suddenly filled with the feeling that I was no longer a Laudermilk, which was thrilling and scary as hell. I gave my notice and decided to make a longish bet on my future. I would take my cash and move to California, where computer electronics meant more money, the magazines said, and because it seemed so far away.

Finally, one Sunday (always a Sunday!), I went home to say goodbye. I found Mom sitting in the kitchen, at the table, and she was sipping Lipton tea with milk. Her hat on the table beside her. Her white head like a bright pearl doorknob. The blinds were louvered almost closed, the atmosphere of the room more like evening than the midday outside. She wore her blue slippers, her robe. I would be leaving New York in the morning.

She said, “Come over here.”

I put my hand on her shoulder, picked at the pilling of her robe. The tea was half finished, so I turned and took the pot from the stove and poured more water in her cup. I said, “I’ll be back soon to tell you all about it.”

She patted my hand. It was on her shoulder again.

“And we’ll talk on the phone,” I said. “It’s just a matter of making a living, and nothing else. You know that. This isn’t the place for what I’m planning. California is the place for what I’m doing.”

“You could just go to Florida, open a store. Not so far away. Or upstate,” she said. I tried to respond, but she stopped me, and said, “I shouldn’t say that. Don’t listen.”

“Josiah!” Dad shouted from upstairs. “Is that you?”

Mom looked up at me. She put both hands on my hand, and squeezed my hand. Her eyes were so very anxious. “You know that I want you to go, don’t you? You know I am not your father.”

“It’s gonna be fine,” I said. “I promise. And the moment you don’t feel good, you call me. I’ll jump right on a plane.”

Dad’s footsteps were on the stairs. “Josiah?”

Mom pulled at me weakly. I crouched down and we looked at each other face to face.

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