Happily Ever Laughter by Focus on the Family

Author:Focus on the Family
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: RELIGION / Christian Life / Love & Marriage, FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Marriage
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Published: 2010-05-10T04:00:00+00:00

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

—unknown

The biggest conflicts over potential garage sale items have involved my favorite stuffed animal and best friend growing up—Jo Jo the Monkey. Jo Jo has seen better years, but he is my friend and he belongs under my roof. My wife’s desire to sell a family member is unconscionable and sparks an intense argument. We always choose our words carefully. She will use words like “musty” and “smelly” and “juvenile.” I will use words like “heartless” and “cruel” and “Jezebel.” Then she will say “couch,” and I will usually surrender immediately.

After my wife collects all the things she wants to sell, the struggle turns to garage salers themselves. These are not normal people. They are hard to deal with. I always hope no one will show up at the garage sale, but the whole world shows up at a garage sale! And not just our world! The behavior suggests they could be beings from other planets.

Garage salers come in fast, and you have to be ready for them, or unexpected tragedy will occur. Like, someone will take the concrete steps in front of your house and leave fifty cents.

Some of the people are rude, too, and you have to know how to deal with them. Sometimes it just takes some effort on your part to educate them. For example, someone will pick up Jo Jo the Monkey by the scruff of his soft neck, hold him up high, and ask me, “How much for this thing?”

“Thing? Madam, that thing you are holding was my best friend in the world. He was my childhood friend during all the hard times, like head lice, and pink eye, and the original swine flu, and that mysterious bacterial . . .” By this time, the rude person has quickly put down Jo Jo and makes great speed out of the crowded garage, tripping over the hole in the ground that used to be my fifty-cent concrete steps.

Unfortunately, my wife is very good at hosting a garage sale, and we typically sell all of our “treasures.” After three days of exhaustion and conflict, we will have made a total of ten dollars. My wife will usually sense that I’m not over the whole experience and will say to me, “Take the ten dollars.” At this point, the best thing to do is take the revenue, go to some other garage sale, and buy all my stuff back. Total cost $1.50: priceless.

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