Hal Spacejock 1: A Robot Named Clunk by Simon Haynes

Author:Simon Haynes [Haynes, Simon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Science Fiction, comedy, Series, humor, Humour, Spacejock, novel, scifi, sci-fi, comedy novel, science fiction comedy
Publisher: Bowman Press
Published: 2011-03-03T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 18

Hal walked up the Orbiter's docking tunnel with a grim look on his face. Although Farrell had assured him the hunt for Clunk was on, word of the fiasco was bound to get back to Jerling. The robot might be a walking junkyard, but Jerling would never use Hal's services again. And there was something else bothering him, too: Farrell's offsider Terry. He looked more like a hit man than a freighter pilot.

Hal opened the doors at the end of the ramp and stepped into a poorly lit tunnel. Following the signs, he found the main entrance to the Orbiter: a round door with a control panel. He pressed the 'open' button, but nothing happened. When he pressed it again, a metallic voice crackled through the overhead speaker.

"Manual override inoperative. Please use voice commands."

"Open the door," said Hal, his voice echoing down the tunnel. It opened sluggishly, and he walked through it into a dimly lit airlock. He pressed the button on the opposite wall but nothing happened. "Open the door," he said again.

The speaker crackled. "Close the other door first."

"Close it yourself."

"I'm just an airlock. You have to give the commands."

Hal shrugged. "Close the door."

"Which door do you want me to close, the inner door or the outer door?"

"How can you close the inner door? It's not open."

"I'm sorry, you'll have to rephrase that."

"Shut the outer door and open the inner door!"

"Unable to interpret multiple instructions."

"Okay, interpret this," said Hal, pulling out his blaster. "I'm going to shoot holes in the walls until I hit something that makes the door open. I will start in three seconds."

"I cannot open the inner door without the correct instructions," said the airlock.

"These are all the instructions you're going to get." Hal pointed the blaster at a speaker high on the wall. "One."

"I'll have to report this to the authorities," warned the airlock.

"When I pull this trigger you won't be reporting anything to anyone. Two."

A pleading note crept into the airlock's voice. "All you have to say is 'Close outer, open inner.'"

"I prefer it this way." Hal raised the blaster. "Three."

The outer door slammed shut, and after a second's delay the inner door opened. Hal's ears popped as they adjusted to the pressure difference. "That wasn't so difficult," he said, clipping the blaster to his belt.

There was no answer.

He stepped out of the airlock and entered a small lift. There was only one button on the panel, so he pressed it. The door closed and the lift shot upwards, opening onto a brightly lit area filled with the cloying smell of yeast. There were several people sitting at cheap plastic tables, drinking from large mugs and spooning food into their mouths. A robot standing behind a hatch was dispensing mugs and bowls and there was a window to the right, beneath a sign which read 'General Store'. Behind the window, shelves bulged with odd-shaped parcels.

Hal walked over to it, and as he got closer the beaming face of a serving droid popped up behind the counter.

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