Habit Changers by M.J. Ryan

Author:M.J. Ryan [Ryan, M.J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Crown
Published: 2016-09-20T00:00:00+00:00

If they could, they would

Do you feel like a broken record when talking to folks who work for you—saying the same things over and over without seeing any real improvement? This is one of the most common issues I come across in supporting people who lead teams. It sounds like this: “I keep telling him to come to me if there is an issue, but he never does” or “I keep asking her to take more initiative, but…” If phrases like these sound familiar, this habit changer is for you. But to make this habit changer work, you have to realize that if you keep telling people something over and over and they aren’t changing their behavior, you’re just wasting your breath—if they could do what you’re asking, they would. I first learned this the hard way when I ran my own company and had an employee who was a great worker but a terrible communicator. At every performance review there I was, telling him he had to let me know when he got overloaded, and he never did. Finally I realized that, rather than saying it again, I had to either help him learn how to know when he was overloaded and communicate that information or be more proactive myself in understanding his workload.

If you’ve made a suggestion or demand twice and a person’s behavior hasn’t changed at all, it’s time to remember to stop telling and go into brainstorming mode with the individual in question: “Obviously this isn’t working. What else can we try?” “How can I help you learn this?” etc. This will help you stop beating your head against the wall and get better results.

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