Gullible's Travels by Marvin Kitman

Author:Marvin Kitman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: political science;presidents;government;american politics;comedy;alternate history;political philosophy;white house;feminism;geopolitics;funny books;white elephant gifts;funny gifts;political books;politics;joke book;humor;world politics;american government;international politics;american political thought;politics in america;the white house;fun gifts;gifts for history buffs;secret santa gifts;political science books;american government and politics;us government;funny political gifts
Publisher: Seven Stories Press
Published: 2020-04-18T20:42:42+00:00

V. THE TRUMPONICLES 2018–2019

more year two

1. The Evil Twin Theory

How lucky can a so-called president get?

In the indictment of thirteen Soviet cyber warriors caught red-handed making the world safer for communist domination, Special Counsel Mueller documented the latest Marxist plot to tarnish our sacred free elections, the gold standard by which we judge the honesty of and find lacking in so many Third World and other shithole countries, pardon the Trumpspeak, new to democracy. He neglected to mention a possible accessory to the crimes.

He Who Was Not Named (HWWNN) saw the omission as a clear victory.

He has adopted as his 2020 mantra:

No collusion! No collusion! No collusion!

The jury was in. The jury of one. Foreman Donald J. Trump read the indictment to his 48 million followers on Twitter: Not guilty! . . . Not guilty! . . . Not guilty!

As He Who Was Not Named told his coalition of the willing on Twitter that happy Saturday morning, he had been exonerated.

HWWNN did everything that weekend but award himself the coveted Congressional Medal of Honor for dodging the bullet. He lived to lie another day. Hail to the Chief!

It mattered not that the Mueller indictment covered one paragraph of what was to turn out to be a sad 342-page story. If I may mix a metaphor, and why not, it’s my ink and paper: it was the first shoe from Imelda Marcos’s shoe collection.

Somehow he was able to ignore an alarming realization: the Commies’ election mongering in 2016 has made all future elections vulnerable. Our elections can no longer, a priori, be thought pure and trustworthy for the first time in our 229-year history.

His reaction to this awful predicament did not prevent him from playing an extra round of golf that weekend. He was marching to a different glockenspiel.

It was his Evil Twin who did all those bad things his enemies are trying to pin on him.

As the two presidents try to keep afloat in the rising fetid waters of the swamp, already up to the chin, I am reminded of what the legendary Sidney Zion said whenever Trump the Younger was erupting in some way, making unpleasant waves in Gotham: “The problem with Donald today is that he misses the restraining hand of Roy Cohn.”

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