Grundish and Askew by Carbuncle Lance

Author:Carbuncle, Lance [Carbuncle, Lance]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Vicious Galoot Books Co.
Published: 2011-04-20T05:00:00+00:00

24

Without a word, Grundish moves about the room and evaluates the situation. Dead guy splattered on the wall, he notes to himself, not good. He grabs the crusty blanket from the floor in front of Askew and covers the corpse sprawled out in front of him. Askew with a cannon in his hands and another homicide to answer for. Not good. Grundish grabs the barrel of the gun with one hand and grabs Askew’s wrist down near where he is gripping the gun. Askew allows the blunderbuss to be pulled from his grip. Grundish tosses the gun in the corner opposite the cowering girl. Skeletal girl going into shock in the corner. Tiny little pants. Chain around her boot. Shaking in the corner. She’s a teenage prostitute.[29] With a hand on her elbow and one hooked under her other arm, Grundish helps the girl stand. He walks her over to a reclining chair and sits her down.

Grabbing the pack of Blue Llamas from atop the pool table, Grundish extracts three cigarettes and lights them all at the same time, handing one to Askew, one to Dora, and keeping one for himself. Dora accepts the smoke and drags hard on it, her hand still shaking as she holds the cigarette up to her mouth. Askew jams his smoke in the gap between his front teeth and lets it dangle. Grundish sucks on his cigarette and gives Askew the hairy eyeball. “God damn, I wish you would quit smoking. I can’t quit if you keep doing it in front of me.”

“I know. I’m gonna quit at the end of the month,” Askew answers. He is happy that they are not talking about the single, solitary, thing that everybody in the room is thinking about: the fat dead guy on the floor.

“So, that must be Buttwynn,” says Grundish.

“Yeah. That’s him. He was coming at me, and he was gonna call the cops on us. And then he started talking about how generous he was with his tips. He was a real Fucker right to the end. So I shot him,” says Askew matter-of-factly, as if explaining why he took a right turn at a red light.

“Obviously,” says Grundish. He ashes his cigarette on the floor and takes another hit off of it. “So, what we’ve got here is what we call a situation. And if it ain’t a bona fide situation, it’ll do until the real thing comes along.”

“Uh-huh.” Askew nods and waits for his friend to figure out what to do.

“We have a dead body. We’re already wanted for the Bumpy D situation. We have a hostage upstairs. Now we have another person that we can’t let go. I have one mean bastard-of-a-hangover. And we don’t know when the rest of the Buttwynn family will be showing up here.”

“The family won’t be here for two more days,” says the girl under her breath.

“What’s that, Sweetheart?” Grundish asks. “Speak up. I can’t hear you.”

She takes a long drag off of her smoke, burning

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