Grieving is Loving by Joanne Cacciatore

Author:Joanne Cacciatore
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Wisdom Publications

The healing from the pain

is in the pain.

— RUMI

The more we practice staying with the emotions that we think may overcome us, the more we trust our ability to fully inhabit grief. The more we inhabit it, the more comfortable we are staying and allowing it to move through us.

•••

Our holy place is holy still; our love is not diminished by absence or by pain. Death has but interrupted our loving, and I know I shall see you again, if the world lasts.

— NANCY WOOD

•••

Preoccupied and out of my body is not a way I want to live my life. So I decided that I would emulate the discalced Carmelites of the fifteenth century and hike barefoot down the trail. This practice, which I use about monthly, teaches me to stay present even when the present moment hurts. It teaches me that I can feel grateful for a cool, smooth stone on the path. It teaches me that I can avoid the cactus needles when I pay attention — and that rocks between my toes hurt. It teaches me that though I cannot always see around the next corner, I trust myself on this path. It teaches me that sometimes I can lean on the unexpected, like the titan juniper pine I’d walked past many times but never really saw. And it teaches me that I cannot provide shade for myself — only another being can provide shade for me. My barefoot hiking practice, rich in metaphors, is a compelling medium for me. While it’s not for everyone, many others with whom I’ve worked have also integrated various aspects of barefootedness, even walking barefoot on their lawn or while playing golf, as part of their own practice. For me, walking barefoot is a way of being with grief.

•••

Sharp knives seemed to cut her delicate feet, yet she hardly felt them — so deep was the pain in her heart.

— HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN

•••

Grief, particularly traumatic grief, is a wound to the self. When we are deeply wounded, we must turn our focus to the injured place in order to survive and become who we will become in the aftermath of catastrophe.

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