Good Book by David Plotz

Author:David Plotz
Language: nld
Format: epub, pdf
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 2

David’s deathbed is a heartfelt scene that suddenly turns Mafia. It starts with David counseling Solomon to follow the laws of Moses. Out of nowhere, David interrupts his own profound advice and starts telling Solomon which scores he should settle. Solomon should make sure to kill Joab—who has been Israel’s best soldier—because Joab committed pointless murders in peacetime that disrupted David’s diplomatic efforts. More disturbingly, David also orders Solomon to kill Shimei, the relative of Saul’s who cursed David during Absalom’s coup. If you remember that strange encounter, David was actually quite resigned to the curses, and seemingly untroubled by them. Later, David had even vowed not to take revenge on Shimei, saying: “I will not put you to death with the sword.” So, it’s incredibly slimy—dare I say Clintonian?—for David to circumvent this promise by ordering Solomon to execute Shimei. It reminds us just how cruel and self-centered David can be.

Then David dies. Like Moses, Joseph, and Abraham, David is a hero who seems even larger in the real, messy Bible than in its popular image. He’s the most complete person we’ve met: flawed but wonderful, his great sins outweighed by his huge heart, his care for his people, and his passion for God. I’m prouder than ever to be a David, and I’m going to miss him.

The drama of his family never ends. David’s not cold in the grave when his ousted son, Adonijah, visits Bathsheba. After he assures her that he has not come to kill her, he begs a favor: could she ask her son Solomon to let Adonijah marry Abishag (who’s still gorgeous and still, apparently, a virgin). Bathsheba agrees to speak to Solomon on Adonijah’s behalf. King Solomon, after assuring his mother that he will grant her any favor, explodes at Bathsheba’s request: “Why request Abishag the Shunammite for Adonijah? Request the kingship for him!” Let’s try to explain Solomon’s rage. First, he’s furious at Adonijah’s sexual one-upmanship—angling to bed the woman his father couldn’t bed and Solomon hasn’t bedded. More important, Solomon surely fears that Abishag’s connection to David will rub off on Adonijah. If Adonijah is permitted to take Abishag, who was more or less David’s final wife, then he will gain status: sexual conquest could preview actual conquest.

So, Solomon orders Adonijah’s execution. Isn’t this an overreaction? Even if Adonijah was trying to score at Solomon’s expense, doesn’t this betray the safe-conduct promise he gave Adonijah in 1 Kings 1? Perhaps, but the most important lesson of 1 Kings: kill first, regret later.

Joab, hearing of Adonijah’s death, realizes that Solomon is trying to settle all his scores at once, just like Michael Corleone at the end of The Godfather, after his father’s death. Joab flees to the altar for sanctuary. Solomon sends his hit man Benaiah, who also took out Adonijah, to assassinate Joab. Joab refuses to leave the altar and dares Benaiah to kill him on that sacred spot. Solomon tells Benaiah to go ahead and do it—an early indicator of Solomon’s own casual attitude toward the Lord.

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