Give Them Lala by Lala Kent

Author:Lala Kent
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gallery Books
Published: 2021-05-04T00:00:00+00:00

I texted Carter back.

Everything’s great. I’m at my grandma’s wake and by the way, I had an abortion this morning. Just thought you should know.

Shut the fuck up, are you okay?

You know something? He still didn’t call. And you know something else? I still didn’t break up with him, although I probably should have. Instead, we fought about it for a really long time. We fought because I felt like he didn’t care about what I had gone through and that he seemed incapable of understanding why I was upset about the way things had unfolded. Me getting pregnant, trying and failing to contact him, and then feeling so unable to communicate with him that I ended up going through it all by myself. Months later, I still wasn’t over it, still trying to heal. I would break down, try to explain to Carter what I’d gone through, physically and emotionally. When the tears came, Carter would love on me, say how sorry he was, recognize that I’d gone through something hard. But what he gave me was never enough, because deep down, he didn’t care the way I needed him to, when I needed him to.

Looking back now, I blame it all on age. I truly don’t think Carter was a shitty guy; I think he was a young guy. There’s a difference. He just didn’t know how to handle what we were going through as a couple. And neither did I. We were just making it up as we went along. And before long, we settled back into our old routine.

For another year or so, texts and phone calls would go unanswered, and Carter would give me just enough to keep me hanging on before pulling away. It was exhausting, loving him. One day, after a hot shower, “Resentment” by Beyoncé on repeat, and a couple of vodka sodas, I made a bold move.

Hi Carter. This isn’t working for me anymore. I wish you all the best.

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