Girl at Heart by Kelly Oram

Author:Kelly Oram [Oram, Kelly]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: romance, contemporary
Publisher: Bluefields
Published: 2019-11-04T00:00:00+00:00

Sitting with Leila at lunch, I feel eyes on me from across the room the entire time. I refuse to look. I’ll see Eric’s frown of disappointment and start crying all over again. Leila’s friends are really nice. It’s enough to distract me for the rest of lunch. I don’t eat much, though. I’ve lost my appetite.

I leave the cafeteria early to avoid Eric. We usually walk to fourth hour together, but there’s no way I can talk to him right now. I’m so embarrassed. He doesn’t see me as dating potential, and he doesn’t think anyone else should, either. You look ridiculous. It’s Charlie. She’s not supposed to look hot.

He must see my makeover as some desperate attempt to get boys’ attention. I must look so stupid to him. And he hates it. He didn’t tell me I looked nice; he freaked out and asked what was wrong with me. Because me acting like a girl is wrong. Because I’m supposed to be boyish Charlie Hastings.

What’s so wrong with wanting to be a girl? I am a girl. He doesn’t hate other girls. He’s taking the prettiest one in school to prom. Why does she get to be hot and I don’t? Why does Eric get to date and go to the prom, but when I want to, it’s laughable? I just don’t understand.

Eric zeroes in on me the second he walks into the classroom. I don’t look up when he sits in the desk behind mine. I pull out my notebook and start doodling in the margins.

“Charlie.”

I ignore him. I have to. If I make eye contact, I’m going to start crying.

“Charlie, please. Just talk to me.”

I pinch my eyes shut. The remorse and worry in his voice is too much. He doesn’t get to rip my heart out and then make me feel bad for him.

“Why won’t you talk to me?”

I whirl around, anger bubbling up from deep within me. “Because there’s nothing to say. This is me now. You don’t approve, and I’m not changing it. I’m not going to let you tear me down and make me feel like crap for wanting to look nice, or date, or have other friends besides you.”

Eric leans forward and shakes his head. His eyes are a mix of frustration and hurt. “I’m not trying to tear you down. I’m worried about you. You shouldn’t have to change everything about yourself just to make some guy like you. If he can’t love you for who you are, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

Does that mean you don’t deserve me? I wonder. What would he think if he knew I started this whole thing because he didn’t like me?

“Don’t become someone you’re not,” he pleads. “Don’t ditch your real friends, who you’ve known your entire life, for some guy who just wants to get in your pants or because you want to be popular with the cheerleaders.”

I suck in a breath. He’s just cut me up again. Does he really think

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