Gatecrasher by Madeleine Wickham

Author:Madeleine Wickham [Wickham, Madeleine]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Paperbacks

Richard no longer winced when he heard Zara refer to her mother as “Fleur.” Sometimes he even found it faintly endearing. He watched as Antony and Zara settled themselves on the windowseat with drinks; comfortably, like a pair of cats. Zara’s was a low-calorie drink, he noticed—and he wondered again how much she weighed. Then he chided himself. She wasn’t his daughter; he mustn’t start behaving as though she were.

But still. Oliver Sterndale’s words rang again through his mind. What would happen if you were, say, to remarry?

“What indeed?” said Richard aloud. Antony and Zara looked up. “Don’t mind me,” he added.

“Oh right,” said Antony politely. “Do you mind if we have the telly on?”

“Not at all,” said Richard. “Go ahead.”

As the kitchen filled with chattering sound, he took a sip of beer. The money was all still on deposit, waiting for him to make up his mind. A small fortune, to be split between his two children. It had seemed such an obvious step when he’d discussed it with Emily. The picture had seemed complete; the cast of players had seemed finite.

But now there were two more players in the scene. There was Fleur. And there was little Zara. Richard leaned back and closed his eyes. Had Emily ever thought that he might marry after her death? Or had she, like him, believed that their love could never be supplanted? The possibility of remarriage had never, not once, crossed his mind. His grief had seemed too huge; his love too strong. And then he’d met Fleur, and everything had started to change.

Did he want to marry Fleur? He didn’t know. At the moment he was still enjoying the fluid, day-to-day nature of their existence together. Nothing was defined, there were no outside pressures, the days were floating by agreeably.

But it was not in Richard’s nature to float indefinitely; it was not in his nature to ignore problems in the hope that they would go away. Problems must be addressed. In particular, the problem of . . . the problem of . . . Richard squirmed awkwardly in his seat. As usual, his thoughts wanted to shy away from the subject. But this time he forced them back; this time he confronted the very word in his thoughts. Of sex. The problem of sex.

Fleur was an understanding woman, but she would not understand for ever. Why should she, when Richard didn’t understand himself? He adored Fleur. She was beautiful and desirable and every other man envied him. Yet whenever he came to her bedroom and saw her lying in bed, staring at him with those mesmerizing eyes, inviting him in, a guilty fear came over him, subsuming his desire and leaving him pale and shaking with frustration.

He had thought until now that this factor alone would prove the obstacle to his marrying Fleur; had resigned himself to the fact that before long she would make her excuses and move off, like an exotic insect, to another, more fruitful flower. But she seemed in no hurry to leave.

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