Forgiving and Reconciling by Everett L. Worthington Jr

Author:Everett L. Worthington Jr. [Worthington Jr., Everett L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: InterVarsity Press
Published: 2009-08-20T00:00:00+00:00

Sarah’s Story

Sarah had struggled to forgive the relatives who refused to support her during her time of financial strain. She worked through several self-help programs of forgiveness, saw her pastor for two sessions of counseling and even went to twelve weeks of psychotherapy with a Christian counselor. After each experience, she felt as if she had forgiven her relatives. But later, the pain of rejection would return and haunt her, until she found herself just as bitter, resentful and hostile toward her relatives as she had been before. Sarah could forgive, but she could not hold on to her forgiveness. Then she attended one of our workshops on forgiveness, and near the end she received a revelation.

“Once forgiveness has been granted in one’s heart and mind, it is always subject to doubt unless the commitment to forgive has been made public,” said the workshop leader. Sarah constructed a Certificate of Forgiveness, which she displayed on her wall. When she doubted whether the forgiveness she had granted was real, she examined the Certificate of Forgiveness and reassured herself.

She also wrote a letter of forgiveness to each of her relatives. Even though she did not send them because her relatives might have responded negatively, merely writing the letters made her forgiveness seem more real. Finally, she read each letter aloud to another member in the group. Hearing herself read the letter of forgiveness provided yet another piece of tangible evidence that she had indeed forgiven.

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