Flying Without A Net by Thomas J. Delong

Author:Thomas J. Delong
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harvard Business Review Press
Published: 2011-03-14T16:00:00+00:00

Comparing via Various Metrics

We measure ourselves against others in many different ways. As long as there are different metrics with which to compare our performance with others, we will be engaged in the process. A friend, for example, who runs a large hedge fund, complained to me not so long ago that he was miffed that he wasn’t in the top ten money makers in the financial services arena. He had only made just over $125 million and there were others that had outpaced him. You see, we recalibrate at each higher level that we obtain. We redefine the game. And we always look up to reset the bar. Looking up is the only way we can continue reinforcing those traps that help us cover up our fundamental anxieties about who we are and how we are in the world.

When we keep upping the ante in our comparing behaviors, we can throw just about anything into the pot. Consider a partial list of what we use as a basis for comparison with others:

• Salary

• Bonuses

• Company performance

• Perks (access to company jets, stays at top hotels, golf junkets, luxurious office space, etc.)

• Vacations

• Houses, cars, boats

• Publicity (being on business magazine top 100 lists, flattering profiles, etc.)

• Reputation in industry

• Membership on boards

Go over this list and ask yourself when you’ve compared yourself in any of these categories with others in your company, your industry, or the business world in general. Then, reflect on your comparing behaviors and ask these questions:

• Did my comparing behaviors cause me to feel dissatisfied with my performance or my job? Did they take away from what otherwise were significant achievements?

• Did my comparing behaviors prevent me from achieving the goals that, with hindsight, I most wanted to achieve?

• Did my comparing behaviors cause me to expend a great deal of time and energy fretting about what I didn’t possess rather than expend it on what I might accomplish?

While the most obvious form of comparing may be measuring your career progress against that of a peer, there are many others. While the most common negative consequence may involve never feeling satisfied with your achievements, there are other counterproductive effects.

Finally, I’d like to share a classic event that invites people to compare themselves with others: reunions. More specifically, I want to tell you about the Harvard Business School class reunion. Certainly people attend these reunions to see friends from the past. But there is another reason they come back: to judge how they have done relative to their colleagues. As a faculty member who is invited to speak at the events, I have noticed that the younger the alumni reunion class is, the more comparing that takes place. In fact, I will no longer speak at the five-year reunion—it’s too hard to create discussions that are in-depth and reflective with all the comparing that goes on.

Those alumni back for the five-year reunions are guarded, wear just a little too much makeup and cologne, and are generally adopting invulnerable poses.

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