Flutter by L.A. Corvill

Author:L.A. Corvill [Corvill, L.A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: L.A. Corvill
Published: 2017-08-02T18:30:00+00:00

The shroud of emotions over takes the happiness that’s within; it’s as if I’m in a gray state of mind, not white or black but gray. An escape is what I want right now, not to leave my baby behind, not to leave her behind but to get a grip on my emotions. All these nights, I have gone back to that one. The one fucking night where she showed me what it was like to share your soul with somebody.

Fuck!

My arm instantly retracts and it’s like a barrier is formed between us. Sophia sits up and adjusts herself, her red brimmed eyes look at me and my heart instantly softens. God damn, she has a grip on my soul and I can’t fucking be mad at her. I give her a warm smile. I don’t want her to see my hurt because I know her pain and hurt is much more than I can ever imagine. So I bury my emotions and put my happy face.

“Are you ready to face the familia?” I ask her.

I have to get a grip on my emotions. I know that Nicolas will see right through me. I’m hurt. I’m confused. I’m overwhelmed.

Breathe.

Just breathe.

I bring my hand to hers and she takes it. Looking down at her hand in mine makes me feel whole. Right now, I need her and she probably needs me too; it might not be what I had hoped but it’s a start.

“Ready,” she replies as she squeezes my hand.

We walk straight to her apartment, the alcohol running through me is making the emotions unbearable, and as we step over the threshold. I release hold of her hand and don’t take another step forward. She stops and turns to look at me and behind her is the rest of the family. All eyes are on me and I realize that I can’t do this. I need to turn and leave but just then, Nicolas comes into view.

“Hermano, te nescistan. This isn’t just about you anymore. There’s a baby involved here now.”

A baby.

There’s a sensation that runs from my head down to my toes, like a shock wave. It’s a bit painful but after the initial shock, there’s numbness. I need to leave and so I do.

“Matias!” Nicolas and Sophia yell out for me at the same time but I don’t stop. I go straight into my apartment, slam the door, and lock it.

“Matias, open the door. We need to talk about this brother.” Nicolas’ voice is calm and smooth; it must be the tone he uses when he talks to his patients. Well, I’m not one of his fucking patients. I ignore him.

I stand up against the door and let myself slide down. I eye the bottle of whiskey and right now it looks damn good. It would be nice to help ease some of these emotions. To help calm these nerves. To help deal with the pain of her rejection. To cope with beginning of a new life as a dad.

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