Five Pillars of the Freedom Lifestyle by Curt Mercadante

Author:Curt Mercadante
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: BookBaby
Published: 2019-07-01T20:57:02+00:00

Happiness Isn’t Fulfillment

“How are you?” I asked Thomas Heath, a local personal branding coach in Charleston, South Carolina, and my cohost for our LinkedInLocal Charleston events series.

After giving it some thought, Thomas replied, “I’m going with fulfilled today.”

Thomas had some illnesses in his family and additional stressors impacting him, but his response was much more accurate than a typical “Not so hot” or “Doing great!” response.

“You can be happy and fulfilled, or you can be sad and fulfilled,” he explained to me. “Or you can be happy and unfulfilled or sad and unfulfilled.”

Thomas was absolutely correct.

Happiness isn’t the same as fulfillment, though I often see people use the terms interchangeably. Happiness can be fleeting, while fulfillment is something much deeper in our foundation.

For years, as I wrote previously, I lacked fulfillment in my life. I was missing that sense that I know why I’m here on this planet.

During those years, were there times when I was happy? Of course. I was happy when I was with my wife, kids, friends, family—and at many points in between.

But when those happy times faded, I was left alone with my thoughts, with that underlying feeling that I was destined for more.

On the flip side, can you feel sad when you’re fulfilled? Yep. Shit happens. People get sick. People die.

When you are fundamentally fulfilled, it’s easier to leave the sad days behind—and to catapult yourself out of whatever rut you’re in.

When you are fulfilled, you have a sense of meaning in your life.

“The pursuit of meaning—not happiness—is what makes life worthwhile,” writes best-selling author Tom Rath in Are You Fully Charged? “People who spend life seeking happiness are unlikely to find it. Much like chasing fame or wealth, seeking happiness alone is misguided and can lead to poor decisions.”

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson, professor of psychology at the University of Toronto, a clinical psychologist, and the author of the best seller 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, forcefully makes the same argument.

In fact, his Rule 7—“Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)”—centers around the pursuit of meaning, rather than mere happiness or pleasure.

“What is expedient works only for the moment,” writes Peterson. “What is meaningful, by contrast, is the organization of what would otherwise merely be expedient into a symphony of Being. Meaning is what is put forth more powerfully than mere words can express by Beethoven’s ‘Ode to Joy,’ a triumphant bringing forth from the void of pattern after pattern upon beautiful pattern, every instrument playing its part, disciplined voices layered on top of that, spanning the entire breadth of human emotion from despair to exhilaration.”

On the other hand, he asserts, the pursuit of expedient pleasure and happiness has led to pain and suffering in the world.

Peterson points to the behaviors and mindset of criminals and tyrants.

“Pursue pleasure. Follow your impulses. Live for the moment. Do what’s expedient. Lie, cheat, steal, deceive, manipulate—but don’t get caught,” he writes. “In an ultimately meaningless universe, what possible difference could it make?”

It is this

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