Falling by Jane Green

Author:Jane Green
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2016-06-16T09:40:39+00:00

TWENTY-ONE

Dominic has not experienced serious anxiety for a very long time. The last time he found himself tensing up on a regular basis was when he was dating Stacy. She was pregnant, still drinking, not looking after herself, doing things he was convinced would hurt the baby.

He wanted to marry her back then. She was so exciting, so vibrant. They made a great-looking couple; they were such an obvious couple: the childhood classmates who would live happily ever after. It was hard for him to see any other outcome, any other path to walk along for the rest of his life.

And yet there was so much that wasn’t working in their relationship. Her drinking, for starters. Could he really picture himself with a woman who was so careless about alcohol? If she were sober, if she could get sober, he knew they could make it work. If she calmed down, learned to control her explosive temper, didn’t pick fights while under the influence, they could make it work.

There were at least two Stacys, he’d learned. Sober Stacy was sweet, funny, huge fun. Drunk Stacy was mean and angry and belittled him in front of anyone who would listen.

On the nights they didn’t go out, she would curl into him on the sofa as they watched movies; she was playful, affectionate, and he would wrap his arms around her, imagining the family they would have. They had great conversations back then. Where they would live? Saugatuck? The beach? In their fantasy world, on Beachside Avenue. They discussed how many children they would have. (Two. A boy and a girl: Jesse and Sophia.) And what pets they would have. (A German shepherd for their son, and a cat for their daughter.) It all seemed so perfect. Too perfect to be real.

Every time Dominic relaxed, hoping this was the end of the madness, praying she wouldn’t drink again, just as she had promised during those loving, sober moments, he would be disappointed.

Over time, the more frequently she drank, the nastier she became. She told him he was pointless, clumsy, and stupid. She didn’t love him; he was a loser who was never going to do anything with his life. She said she hated him, she deserved better, she was only with him because she pitied him.

Dominic knew she didn’t mean it, but the words hurt. The longer they were together, the more damage they did. And in time, he started to believe he was as worthless as she told him he was. All the lessons he had learned during his first bad relationship, the one in which he came close to physical violence, his decision to live mindfully, to make the right choices, went out the window.

Then Stacy got pregnant. It was an accident; she was using a sponge as contraception, and neither of them knew why or how it had failed. But once it happened, at first it seemed to be a wake-up call for Stacy and he was convinced things would change.

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