Epic Game by William Kowalski

Author:William Kowalski
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: FIC044000, FIC045000, FIC048000
Publisher: Orca Book Publishers
Published: 2016-02-01T05:00:00+00:00

NINE

If you’ve ever kicked a bad habit, you might have some idea of how hard it is for me to give up my computer for two weeks. I’ve never done drugs, so I can’t really say what that’s like. I’ve tried smoking, but it didn’t agree with me. I inherited my father’s distaste for alcohol. So I don’t know how hard it is to kick those things.

But if it’s anything like giving up my computer, it’s not something I ever want to go through.

And if there’s such a thing as rehab for computer addicts, I would check myself in. It’s that bad.

It’s even worse, in fact, because I feel like I have to hide how I’m feeling from David. I want him to think everything’s fine. At the zoo, at the park, at the movies, at the mall—everywhere we go, all I can think about is sitting down and playing poker as soon as I get home. And every time I think about it, I remember that I promised David I won’t play until his dad comes for him.

I have no intention of going back on my word. As a child I had enough promises to me broken to know how much it hurts. I am not going to do that to him.

But I can’t believe how many times a day I think about it.

I won’t lie. It’s torture. It’s not like I played twenty-four/seven. It’s knowing I can’t play that’s the hard part.

I know there’s such a thing as a gambling addict. But I didn’t think I was one. I was never the kind of person who left things up to chance, the way an addict does. I don’t play any games where I’m not in total control.

Fish think poker is a game of luck, but luck has nothing to do with it. Sure, you can catch a bad break once in a while. That can happen to you doing anything in life. You can get creamed by a truck on the highway. You can have a heart attack sitting at your desk. A piano can fall on your head while you’re walking down the street. Poker is not like slot machines, where people just sit there for hour after hour, pumping money into those stupid one-armed bandits. Poker demands real skill. You need psychology. You need courage. You need patience. You need determination.

Okay, fine, maybe I was attached to the rush of winning. But is that a bad thing? It’s a lot better than being addicted to losing, after all.

Yet a little voice in my head keeps saying, You’re your father’s daughter.

And this makes me very unhappy. I loved my dad.

But I don’t want to be like him.

My father let poker destroy his entire life. It ruined his marriage. It ruined his career. He was a teacher before he started playing full-time, and while that never would have made him rich, he would have found a lot there to appreciate.

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