EGO vs. EQ: How Top Business Leaders Beat 8 Ego Traps with Emotional Intelligence by Jen Shirkani

Author:Jen Shirkani [Shirkani, Jen]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9781937134778
Publisher: Bibliomotion, Inc.
Published: 2013-10-28T14:00:00+00:00

I can still remember a time early in my career when I was the coconspirator with a leader who was blind to his downstream impact. As the well-meaning leader level jumped down to me, I fell into the same trap because I was blind to it too.

I was a junior-level individual contributor working at a distribution company. My job was to deliver leadership training, so my path crossed with Burke, the president of our company, who was four pay grades above me. Burke was an intense but soft-spoken man with a keen interest in professional development. Because his family had started the company, he reached his role of president while still quite young, in his mid-thirties. He routinely invited employees to have lunch with him as a way to hear their ideas and avoid losing touch with the front line (Ego Trap 7).

When I was eventually invited to have lunch with Burke, I was quite nervous, unsure how to handle a one-on-one meeting with the president. I wondered how I would ever come up with anything interesting enough to say. Over lunch that day, Burke started by asking me a lot of questions about my career and past employers. We discussed my career history, best leadership development practices from my former work experience, and my initial impressions of the company as a new employee. Burke had a very conversational style, used a lot of direct eye contact, and was an amazing listener. Because of our age proximity and Burke’s ability to put me at ease, I wasn’t as intimidated as I thought I would be. In fact, we had a great conversation, ending with his suggestion that on my upcoming business trip to Portland, I should be sure to stop by and introduce myself to the distribution center manager there, who was one of three women, out of twenty-five in the company, to hold that role. Burke was quite impressed with her and thought she could be a good internal contact for me, as she was a great example of a highly functional leader to use in my training programs.

I left the meeting full of enthusiasm and excitement, proud of myself for getting through a meeting with someone at Burke’s level and eager to meet the female distribution center manager. The next day, I called her and mentioned that I would be in the area in the coming weeks and, if she could spare thirty minutes to meet, I would be most grateful. I told her that Burke had suggested the meeting and had spoken very highly of her. Now, recall that Burke was the president of the company and I was four levels below him on the food chain. I am sure you can imagine what happened next …

The distribution center manager called my boss’s boss’s boss—the SVP of Human Resources—to ask why Burke, the president of the company, would suggest that I, an HR representative, meet with her? And was there another agenda at work, meaning, should she

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