Dumping Billy by Olivia Goldsmith

Author:Olivia Goldsmith [Goldsmith, Olivia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Dating (Social Customs), Fiction, General, Bars (Drinking Establishments), Humorous, Brooklyn (New York; N.Y.), Rejection (Psychology), Adult Trade, Female Friendship, Humorous Fiction, Love Stories
ISBN: 9780446695053
Google: ef-SylahFqAC
Amazon: 044669505X
Publisher: Hachette Digital, Inc.
Published: 2004-05-12T07:00:00+00:00

The taxi had sped across the bridge and now seemed lost in Brooklyn. “Do you know where this Barber Bar is?” Kate asked.

“Sure,” Elliot said. “We’ll stop right here. It’s just a block or two, and we’re meeting the others on the corner. I need some time to coach Bina.” Turning to her, he said, “Now remember, if you want this to work, you have to remember LAID.”

Kate sighed. “If that’s a requirement, we may as well go home now. Bina already made it clear that she’s not going to sleep with that man.”

“I thought I didn’t have to go to bed for this to work,” Bina whined. “I love Jack and don’t—”

“Oh, calm down, both of you,” Elliot interrupted. “Not laid, LAID. L-A-I-D,” he spelled. “God, I hate acronyms. They’re so military and butch. Anyway, it stands for lick, arouse, ignore, and disturb.”

“What am I supposed to lick, Elliot?” Bina asked him, her voice tentative.

“Your lips,” Elliot answered.

“And that’s all you lick, missy!” Kate added.

“And that will arouse him?” Bina frowned. “And what do I ignore?”

“Him!” Elliot answered, as if to say, “Uh, duh!”

“And why?” Kate demanded, not liking this acronym at all. She was only afraid that Billy would ignore Bina and the entire plan would fall apart.

“Because he obviously has intimacy issues,” Elliot explained, turning to Kate with exasperation. “God! You’re the shrink, not me.”

“I don’t get it,” Bina admitted.

“If you ignore him, he won’t be afraid of you,” Elliot said. “And if he’s not afraid, he’ll ask you out again. We just have to get past the two-point-seven-month requirement.”

“Fine,” Bina said good-naturedly. “Then what?”

“Disturb,” Elliot answered.

“That should be easy,” Kate told them. “Just tell him why we’re doing this. I think Billy Nolan would find this whole idea very disturbing.”

Elliot ignored Kate. “Try to be just disturbing enough to be a challenge, but not challenging enough to be a turnoff. You get it?” he asked.

“I—I think so,” Bina stammered.

“Well, come on, kids,” Brice said as the cab pulled over to the curb. “The Bitches and Billy are waiting!” He looked at them and started to laugh. “This is a little like the Osbournes visiting Sesame Street.”

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.