Dream Within Dream by Fizza Younis

Author:Fizza Younis [Younis, Fizza]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Fizza Younis

Evil Incarnate

I’m not sure how or when it started. All I know is that one day I am happily living the life I chose for myself, and the next day I feel like a stranger in my own body. It doesn’t help that I am already regretting my decision to marry Danial. To be fair, it’s not even about him. I’m the problem. I wasn’t ready to marry. In fact, if we are to believe Mrs. Noah, I am not the marrying kind.

I understand now. It’s the first, and perhaps my only, mistake in life. When I look in the mirror, I see the true face of evil staring back at me. I tell myself, ‘It’s not too late. I can turn my life around.’ But I don’t believe it. Not really. I feel lonelier than I ever have before. My father is in the hospital fighting cancer, and my mother suffers from depression. I don’t know how to be there for them. Danial tries, but the love I felt for him has become a distant memory.

There is something different about him. If I am a stranger inside my head, he is the stranger in my life. The darkness surrounds my every thought. I have tried to talk to Sarah, but even she isn’t her usual self. She is keeping a secret from me. Something I want. No, it is something I need. If you conceal something important from your closest friend, then are you even deserving of their friendship?

I look down at Danial’s sleeping form and wonder where to go from here. A thought occurs to me, something so dark it makes me shudder. I wish for him to die. If he is dead, half of my problems will vanish. As soon as this terrible thought occurs to me, I try to get rid of it. He is not the problem. It’s not his fault that I have changed. That I now want a different life. I should just leave him and start anew. Maybe I should listen to my mother, at last, and move back with her, then she won’t be so depressed and hopeless.

Life has a funny way of playing tricks on us. We think everything through; we plan every move carefully, and even then, things can go wrong. I remember the time when I was madly in love with Danial. There was nothing else I wanted more than to be with him. Initially, my parents didn’t like him and they even had a problem with him being an orphan. They told me that someone without a family wouldn’t know how to be a part of one. He proved them both wrong and earned their love as well as respect. I remember how I convinced my parents to give him a chance because I was crazy about him. And now, here I am, thinking of him as a hurdle in the way of my happiness.

‘Maham,’ I say to myself, ‘you really are an evil woman. Do you even deserve to be happy?’ The thought makes me grind my teeth in anger.

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