Don'ts for Husbands by Blanche Ebbutt

Author:Blanche Ebbutt
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook
Publisher: A&C Black
Published: 2010-06-15T16:00:00+00:00

V.—HOUSEHOLD MATTERS.

Don’t interfere with your wife’s household management. Nothing upsets servants more than interference in matters of detail from the master of the house.

Don’t forget to be master in your own house, but see that your wife is mistress.

Don’t sneer at your wife’s cookery, or bridge-playing, or singing, or, in fact, at anything that she does. If you do, you may raise an animosity you cannot easily allay.

Don’t make up your mind to a mother-in-law difficulty. If you take her the right way, you will probably find your mother-in-law not only a charming woman, but one of your best friends.

Don’t domineer over the servants. Unwilling service is never good, and a kind word or a pleasant smile will do wonders in the way of saving your wife from being harassed.

Don’t run away with the idea that there is nothing to do in a house, and that your wife should therefore never be busy or tired. You work for a few hours at the office, and come right away from it until next day; but a woman’s work is never done until bedtime, and then she lies awake and thinks of something she has left undone.

Don’t grumble day after day at your wife’s untidiness if you happen to be a methodical man. It will be much easier, and will save friction, if you quietly put away the things she leaves lying about. Her untidiness may be a constitutional defect, and, if so, no amount of grumbling will cure it.

Don’t argue that no wife need be dull at home because there’s always plenty to do. Of course there is; it is just the deadly monotony of it that some natures can’t stand.

Don’t let your wife feel that there isn’t a corner of the house she can call her own. If there is only one ‘‘den,’’ let her have half of it, or at least a roll-top desk or a bureau for her special use.

Don’t be unsympathetic if your wife’s worries seem to you to be trivial. You haven’t tried to run a house with tiresome servants and ailing children, and you don’t realise what a strain it is at times, and how molehills become mountains, because there are so many of them piled on to each other. You can soon sweep all the trouble away with a little kindly sympathy, or you can make it worse by refusing to see that there is any trouble.

Don’t think your business worries are ever so much more important. The others are her business worries, and just as real to her as yours are to you.

Don’t be persuaded, even if you are unfortunately childless, or if your children have married, to give up your home and live in hotels or boardinghouses. All the mechanical conveniences and perfect service won’t make up for the loss of your own home. With all its imperfections, it is yours, and you can do as you like in it.

Don’t be afraid of lending a hand in the house during a temporary servant difficulty, or if you keep no servant.

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