Does Not Love by James Tadd Adcox

Author:James Tadd Adcox
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: prose_contemporary
Publisher: Curbside Splendor Publishing
Published: 2014-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

~ ~ ~

Robert and Viola have dinner with Trey and his date at a new restaurant. All we ever do is go to new places, Viola thinks. The constant churn of the new. Once, newness was invigorating. Now, I am not sure if I could identify the difference between one new place and another.

“Nice to meet you,” Viola says to Trey’s date.

“Oh, we’ve met before,” she says. “Viola, right?”

At the restaurant everyone around them seems to be talking about the secret law. “We are surrounded by enemies,” says one older man sitting to Viola’s right.

“The forces of disorder in all of its many forms,” says his companion.

“Increasing disorder is the fundamental state of the universe,” says a loud young man, several tables away. “Certain actions are necessary to prevent the encroaching of disorder — sometimes horrible actions — actions, that were they publically known, might themselves increase disorder. Actions which must therefore remain concealed. This is the particular insight of the secret law.”

“Jesus,” says Viola.

“Robert tells me that there’s an FBI agent at your library these days,” Trey says.

“I’m not allowed to talk about it,” Viola says.

“NSL?” says Trey. Viola makes a zipping motion over her lips.

Appetizers arrive, in a series of small beautiful bowls.

“I am an optimist,” Trey declares. “I believe in the basic goodness and order of the universe.”

“So you are against the secret law?” Robert asks.

“I believe in the disease theory of crime,” Trey says. “Containment, education. Ultimately, I think, we’ll find biological bases for most forms of criminality.”

“No free will?” Viola asks.

“Why would you want it?” Trey says, his chopsticks hovering above the bowls.

Somewhere around the main course Viola and Robert end up in a fight. No one is sure how it happens, not even Robert and Viola. They are fighting about the secret law, which Robert is in favor of and Viola opposes, except that really they are fighting about the fact that Robert suspects Viola is having an affair.

“Where do you think we’d end up, if anyone could do just anything and not have to worry about the consequences?” Robert says.

“I’m not saying there shouldn’t be consequences,” Viola says. “I’m saying that there shouldn’t be terrible, unforeseeable consequences, carried out in secrecy by men who officially do not exist.”

They are still fighting during the drive home.

“I’m not choosing to feel the way I feel in order to hurt you,” Viola says.

“You know what I think?” Robert says. “I think you like the drama of it. I think instead of dealing with your actual feelings you’ve decided to make this into some big relationship drama.”

“My ‘actual feelings,’” Viola says, making it clear from her tone that she finds the phrase suspect. “I don’t like seeing a therapist, Robert. But I am. Because I am an adult. And I am swallowing my pride and dealing with my ‘actual feelings’ and my mental fucking health like an adult.”

“I’m fine,” Robert says. “I’m not the one who’s — I’m fine.”

They pass adult stores, a mostly abandoned mall, kids too young to still be out walking along the soft shoulder of the road.

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