Doctor Who: Lucifer Rising by Jim Mortimore; Andy Lane

Author:Jim Mortimore; Andy Lane
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Science-Fiction:Doctor Who
ISBN: 9780426203889
Publisher: Doctor Who Books
Published: 1993-07-15T10:00:00+00:00

* * *

Paula ran a hand through her hair, and took a deep breath. Her heart was pounding, and she felt sick. Okay, she thought, here goes…

‘Dad,’ she said, ‘if you’re watching this, then I’m dead.’

The palms of her hands were sweating, and she wiped them against the legs of her tunic.

‘I need to be alone for a while, and there’s nowhere here on Belial or Moloch where that can be true for any length of time. Whatever I do, I seem to hurt someone. I’ve had a talk with…’ She hesitated, wondering whether to name the person, but decided on the spur of the moment against it. Dad would only blame them for what she was doing. ‘Well, with a friend. And I think I can see things a bit more clearly now. I’m going down into Lucifer’s atmosphere in a starsuit. I know it’s risky – a lot more risky than if I waited for Yukio to finish programming the starpod – but I just need to get away for a while, by myself, and think. If I’m lucky then I’ll be back with some decent results before anyone knows that I’m gone. If I’m really lucky then I’ll come back with a tame, talkative Angel for you. If my luck has run out… Well, I’m going to leave this simularity in the starpod for you. I know you’ll find it.’

She slipped one hand into a pocket, and scratched her nose with the other. So far, so good, she thought.

‘There’s something I need to say to you, Dad, and I’ll never have the courage to do it face to face. When…’ The words seemed to catch in her throat. Every time she thought about her mother, the tears were there. It was like the pain from an old wound, so familiar that she never noticed it until she deliberately picked at the scar. ‘When Mum finally… When she… You just locked yourself up tight and never talked about her again.’ The tears were coming; she could feel them. ‘And I wanted so hard for you to love me. I worked my guts out getting my Doctorate, so that I could be a member of Project Eden and be with you. But it was like you never noticed me.’ Warmth on her cheek, and the muscles at the corners of her mouth were clenching, dragging her lower lip downwards. ‘You never noticed me. Dad, I’m sorry. I know you and Piper are – are more than friends, but please Dad, don’t – don’t marry her. It wouldn’t be fair. It wouldn’t be fair to Mum. And it wouldn’t be fair to Piper, because I know how much you still love Mum, even though you never say so.’

It was no good. She was losing it. She had to cut it short now and just leave, otherwise she wouldn’t have the courage to do it.

‘Goodbye, Dad,’ she sobbed. ‘If I’m lucky, you’ll never have to watch this. I love you, remember that.

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