Doctor Who: Happiness Patrol by Graeme Curry

Author:Graeme Curry
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Science-Fiction:Doctor Who
ISBN: 9780426203391
Publisher: Target Books
Published: 1990-05-15T10:00:00+00:00

Joseph C motioned them in. ‘It’s Trevor Sigma, dear,’ he said, ‘and, er...’ He waved vaguely at the Doctor.

Helen A leapt up from the sofa. ‘Trevor Sigma!

Delighted to see you again,’ she smiled and turned to the Doctor. ‘I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure.’

‘It’s no pleasure, I assure you,’ he said lightly.

‘How kind,’ beamed Helen A, but the Doctor had seen the momentary clouding of her eyes which indicated that she had heard exactly what he had said.

But Joseph C seemed pleased to see him. ‘Are you with the bureau as well?’ he enquired politely.

The Doctor was civil. ‘I’m sorry, that’s classified information.’ He spun round to face Helen A. ‘I understand you’re responsible for this planet.’

‘We do our best.’

‘And is it a happy planet?’

Helen A disliked being interrogated. ‘I think you’ll find everyone on Terra Alpha is very happy,’ she said firmly.

But the Doctor would not be placated. ‘Some people on Terra Alpha are very hard to find,’ he said.

Helen A gritted her teeth, and then smiled charmingly.

‘Then I’m sure Trevor will sniff them out for you, won’t you Trevor?’

‘I’m sorry,’ said the Doctor, cutting in, ‘he can’t answer that.’

Helen A ignored him and turned her attention to Trevor, now ensconced in a deep easy chair. ‘I’m glad you’re here, Trevor. I wanted to tell you that I’ve adopted the bureau’s recommendations on population control.’

This interested the Doctor. ‘Which were?’ he asked.

‘To control it,’ said Helen A simply.

Trevor Sigma shook his head. ‘Not my department.’

But Helen A would not be put off her success story.

‘We’ve controlled the population down by seventeen per cent.’

‘I’m sure you have,’ said the Doctor.

Helen A smiled at him. ‘Overcrowding has been quite eliminated,’ she said.

‘No more queues at the post office,’ put in Joseph C, helpfully.

The Doctor ignored him. ‘And you used the bureau’s programme?’ he asked Helen A.

‘Not quite,’ she said. ‘I found that my own programme was more effective.’ She was interrupted by the sharp monotone of a bleeper. She reached into a pocket and the sound stopped. ‘Do excuse me, gentlemen,’ she said sweetly, her eyes embracing her guests. ‘Joseph C will look after you.’ Helen A swept out of the room.

Joseph C’s reaction to his wife’s unexpected departure was usually a smart move towards the drinks cabinet, and this time was no exception. Helen A had banned alcohol from the palace several months before but the feel of a glass in his hand still gave Joseph a sense of security.

When Trevor joined Joseph at the sideboard the Doctor decided to take the weight off his feet and jumped on to Helen A’s sofa. But he couldn’t get comfortable. There was something under the cushion. The Doctor fished around, making sure that Joseph’s attentions were elsewhere, and finally produced Helen A’s photograph album, which had been under the cushions. He turned the pages. Shots of Helen A in a garden with a ball, Helen A on a picnic in the country, Helen A on this very sofa watching television. But the most striking thing about all the photographs was Helen A’s companion.

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