Do You Like My Wiener?: A non-expert's no-nonsense guide to dating by Brenda Rothert

Author:Brenda Rothert [Rothert, Brenda]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Do You Like My Wiener?
Publisher: Silver Sky Publishing, Inc.
Published: 2018-05-14T16:00:00+00:00

Occupation: Professional—a man’s profile on a site I belong to

THE FIRST DATE was great . . . or not. Either way, you did it, and I’m proud of you! It’s one thing to want a partner in life, but it’s another to put yourself out there and really try to get one.

Let’s start with what happens when it wasn’t what you were hoping. Maybe you weren’t feeling him, or maybe you picked up on him not feeling you. Maybe both.

If you don’t want him to reach out again, hopefully, he won’t. But if he does, my advice is to respond kindly but honestly. Something like this:

Him: Hey, I had a great time the other night. Love to see you again.

You: Hey, thanks again for dinner. I don’t think we’re a match, but you’re a great person, and I’d love to consider you my friend.

See how you can be clear without being horrible? You don’t need to be specific about why he isn’t for you. In fact, don’t be, even if he asks. After one date, you don’t owe him that. You do owe him basic kindness, though. Don’t just ignore him. One message letting him know it’s not going to work out is not asking too much.

Maybe you’re hoping for a message asking about another date, and you don’t get one. That really sucks. But you’re still reaching out to other men on the dating site and responding to messages, so another date will happen with someone new.

Odd as this may sound, I’ve had some great dates come out of down phases. A traditionally handsome guy ghosted on me once, and I went back to the dating site with a fresh mind-set. Looks aren’t everything, I told myself. I want someone smart, caring, successful, and happy.

With that attitude, I reached out to a man I didn’t find all that physically attractive but who sounded amazing in his summary. And he ended up being great. Super successful and kind. I nearly overlooked him, too. We didn’t work out, but we dated for a little while, and I learned from that whole experience.

If you take nothing else away from this book, please listen to me on this: men who get overlooked in the looks department are often true gems. They are likely to shower you with affection and look at you like they’ve never seen a more beautiful woman. These guys don’t move from woman to woman when they get bored. Often, they just want a woman to adore and take care of, who will appreciate them for who they really are.

Just like men, women can stereotype. But smart women are open-minded, because they know what’s really important. A “nerdy” engineer, lawyer, or doctor? Sign. Me. Up.

But I digress. We need to talk about what happens when date #1 was great. You want to see him again, and he wants to see you too.

Woo-hoo!

When you’re seeking a life partner and you find someone who seems like they could be The One, it’s an amazing feeling.

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