Do Ants Have Assholes?: And 106 of the World's Other Most Important Questions by Jon Butler Bruno Vincent

Author:Jon Butler, Bruno Vincent
Language: eng
Format: mobi, pdf
Tags: Sourcebooks, ISBN-13: 9781402218187, Inc.
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

how long is the longest noun-only

tabloid headline ever?

noaM cready, Mexico ciTy

I remember well in the summer of 1982 reading a headline

about a local scallywag who was spotted waddling away

from the scene of a burglary, and subsequently picked

up by local police. The story that ran the following week

was a sensation: “IDIOT ‘TICK-TOCK’ THIEF’S RECTUM

CARRIAGE CLOCK STASH DISCOVERY.”

trEvor SoAp, mIllInGSforD, DEvon

¦

I remember the desperate summer when I worked on

the Brisbane Evening Star when it was under the threat

of closure. The owner had gone bankrupt, half the staff

had quit, and the typesetters had gone on strike. This

was in the dog days of 1990–91 and the number of

words we could use each issue was ridiculously small,

leading to almost full-page headlines for stories barely

four lines long. In my first job as a sub-editor, though,

I went crazy for it, splashing minor local skirmishes or

non-events into supernovas of near-apocalyptic import.

Things like “QUEENSLAND BOMBSHELL BOYFRIEND

‘DICKHEAD’ DECLARATION FAMILY SHAME.” Or

101

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