Dictionary of Accepted Ideas by Gustave Flaubert

Author:Gustave Flaubert [Flaubert, Gustave]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 978-0-8112-0054-7
Publisher: New Directions
Published: 2013-07-22T16:00:00+00:00

G

GAIETY. Always preceded by “mad.”

GALANT HOMME. According to circumstances, pronounce “galantuomo” or “gentleman.”

GALLOPHOBE. Use this term in speaking of German journalists.

GAME. Good only when high.

GAMIN. Always from Paris. Don’t let your wife say: “When I feel gay, I love to act like a gamin.”

GAMING. Wax indignant at this fatal passion.

GARDENS (ENGLISH). More natural than French ones.

GARLIC. Kills intestinal worms and incites to amorous jousting. Henry IV’s lips were rubbed with it at birth.

GARRET. At twenty, one can be very happy there.1

GARTERS. Always to be worn above the knee by society women; below it by women of the people. A woman must never neglect this point of dress—there are so many ill-bred men in the world.

GENERAL. Always “brave.” Generally doing something other than his job, such as being an ambassador, alderman or head of the state.

GENERATION (SPONTANEOUS). A socialistic idea.

GENIUS. No point admiring—it’s a neurosis.

GENOVEFAN. Meaning unknown.2

GENTLEMEN. There aren’t any left.

GEOMETRICIAN. “Travelling on strange seas of thought—alone…”

GERMANS. Always preceded by “blond,” “dreamy”—but how efficient their army! A people of metaphysicians (old-fashioned). “It’s no wonder they beat us, we weren’t ready!”3

GIAOUR. Fierce expression of unknown meaning, though it is known to refer to the Orient.

GIBBERISH. Foreigners’ way of talking. Always make fun of the foreigner who murders French.

GIFT. It isn’t the value that gives it price, or rather, not the price that gives it value. The gift is nothing, it’s the thought behind it.

GIRAFFE. Polite word to avoid calling a woman an old cow.

GIRONDISTS. “More sinned against than sinning.”

GLOBE. Genteel way of referring to a woman’s breasts: “May I be permitted to kiss those adorable globes?”

GLORIA.4 Never without its Consolation.

GLOVES. Confer respectability.

GOBELINS. A tapestry of this kind is an amazing piece of work, it takes fifty years to make. On seeing it, exclaim: “It is more beautiful than a painting!” The workman does not even know what he is about.

GOD. Voltaire himself admitted it: “If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.”

“GODDAM”. The essence of the English language, as Beaumarchais said.5 Snicker patronizingly.

GODFATHER. Always the actual father of the godchild.

“GOD SAVE THE KING”. Pronounced, in Béranger’s verses, “God save té King”; it rimes with sauvé préservé, etc….

GOG. Always goes with Magog.

GOLDEN NUMBER, DOMINICAL LETTER, ETC. Shown on all calendars but nobody knows what they mean.

GORDIAN KNOT. Has to do with antiquity. (The way the ancients tied their neckties.)

GOSPELS. Divine, sublime, (and so forth), works.

GOTHIC. Architectural style which inspires religious feeling to a greater degree than others.

GOWN (A WOMAN’S). Disturbing to the fancy.

GRAMMAR. Teach it to children in earliest youth as something clear and easy.

GRAMMARIANS. All pedants.

GRAPESHOT. The only way to make the Parisians shut up.

GRATITUDE. Don’t mention it.

GREATCOAT. Always the color of stone walls, for amorous adventures.

GREEK. Whatever one cannot understand is Greek.6

GRISETTES. There aren’t any left. This is to be said with the discomfited air of the hunter who says there is no more game.

GROG. Not respectable.

GROTTOES WITH STALACTITES. At some time or other a big banquet or notable party was given there. What you see is like organ pipes.

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