Defusing Angry People by Kevin Fauteux

Author:Kevin Fauteux
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780882823997
Publisher: New Horizon Press

Hostile Body Language

It is important to be able to recognize hostility in a person’s physical appearance—clenched fists, a vicious stare or belligerent stance—because it can alert you to the intensity of the person’s anger and thereby help prepare your intervention. “If looks could kill!” Recognizing antagonistic body language begins with remembering the earlier examination of the effect of anger on one’s body. It starts with adrenaline-fueled blood surging to muscles, which gives the person at earlier stages of anger the energy to stand up for himself. But at these more aggressive later stages, this results in the tensing of one’s body as if getting ready to fight. You can observe this tension in his facial muscles, in a furrowed brow or the biting of lips as well as in a clenched jaw, pressured speech or rigid shoulders. You might see his fists clenching and releasing as way of relieving the tightened muscles.

Look for a flush color in a belligerent person’s face, which is the result of more blood flowing through the veins and the person’s body becoming hotter. You should similarly be on alert for sweaty/wringing hands or perspiration on the face, which is in response to the person’s body cooling itself by stimulating sweat glands. You might also look for the hostile person licking her lips due to dry mouth from accelerated breathing.

Equally important is to look at the angry person’s eyes. They can often tell you what the person is feeling. Are they riveted on you, unwavering? Are the pupils enlarged, which might suggest drugs or an extreme state of agitation? Do they frighten you, either due to their menacing look or because they seem cold and emotionally detached from the aggressive manner in which they speak?

Recognizing intense physical expressions not only can alert you to the degree of aggression in the person, but can also remind you to look at how you respond to the aggression within your own body language. Your physical posture can reflect a defensive fight/flight response to a person’s hostility that can make you appear aggressive. This is important, because just as you instinctually respond to a person’s aggressive posture so too he responds to your body language, such as your arms crossed defensively on your chest or if you appear agitated and restless, the result of increased adrenaline in your blood due to his intimidation. He in turn becomes more hostile, with the result being a vicious cycle of increasing aggression. Remember the incident I described earlier when I was assaulted fifteen years ago by a client. For months thereafter I found myself becoming not only tense when someone became belligerent but also anxious when I noticed the other person could see the tension in me, which emboldened him (knowing his belligerence had an effect on me) to become even more hostile.

Be aware of your own physical response to the antagonistic person and as a result you will be able to address it in a way that minimizes any negative influence it might have on your attempt to de-escalate his anger.

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